Craving him: The beginning of us

24-Madeline

I woke up on Monday morning to the sound of Blaine voice in the back of my head. He shakes me awake when I don't open my eyes he gets worried I opened them. I stood over to me he smiles "wake up you'll be late for school".

"And what if I don't want to go to school?" I challenge him. He's expression never changes I stare up at him waiting for him to do something.

He crosses his arms together and I commanding tone he says "your going to school end of discussion !."

I stood up straight right in front of him. I said "make me" without a second thought he dropped me into the bed. He turns me around he holds my wrist "is this what you want?." I don't answer him.

"Quiet now huh?" He mocks. He lets go of me. Today he's wearing a leather jacket with no shirt on with black jean and some Jordan sneakers.

"Put a shirt on" I say demanding him .I didn't want anyone else to see him like this. Even if it was a little selfish.

"Why ?, you don't want another girl to see me?" He mocks. When I make a move to leave he says "come on I was joking."

"just put a shirt on Blaine" I hand him the shirt I have from the party.

"you still have this?" He's shocked it's written all over his face.

"Yes, I still kept it Blaine "

"Ooo you like me" he follows behind me into the kitchen. He wraps his arms around me and starts kissing my neck between kisses he says "some how we work".

He lets me go and I go into the shower. I can't stop thinking about him even when I try like he taking up every space up in my brain. Maybe this was wrong but why did I feel right then? I felt like I was all his. I felt like I was protected no matter what. And that was him who made me feel that way.

Madeline walks in I hear her voice from the kitchen. She's talking to Blaine about taking her to a dance that there having at their school. I feel like I should go there and hit her but should I? Maybe he'll declined or say yes because he still harbors feelings for her. I mean I can't blame him she's perfect.

I sound jealous Blaine wouldn't do that would he? I shake the thought out of my head. Of course he wouldn't or maybe he would if he's still harboring feelings for Madeline. I hope he doesn't.

I walk out the bathroom Madeline sits in front of Blaine eating all so careful not to spill on her outfit. She's wearing a skirt that barely touches her knees with a sweater. She's glowing with the light behind her.

When she sees me she runs up to me like we're friends "good news ! Blaine said he would take me to the school dance" her all so cheery self. I guess it was the second one, he still harbors feelings for her.

I smile and pretended that I was happy for her. I eyed Blaine here he goes again playing his game. I don't know how much more I can take of this.

Madeline walks out of the house I walk into my room and shut the door I'm tempted to cry but I hold myself together. I can't break down every time he treats me like shit. That shows that he won and I won't let him win.

"Elle please" he opens the door and closes it behind him " I had to say yes Elle"

"And your going to tell me this is about not letting other people find out about us when in reality it's because you actually do want to be with her. Your not going to hurt me feelings if your honest with me."

"No. No, me and her are going as friends" he claims. I can't believe he doesn't see what I see maybe I should just let go of him. What am I saying even if I wanted to I can't.

"And you don't think she has a hidden agenda? your blinded by your love for her to notice that she's been trying to break us up this whole time."

"first I'm not blinded by her, I don't not love her Elle.Why won't you believe me?" He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug.

I don't believe him I know I probably should. Am I wrong for not believing him?. "Because she's trying to get in between us and you don't see it".

"I'm not arguing with you right now. We have to get you to school" he says. I walk out ahead of him mad.

"Come on Elle" Blaine groans.

"Don't..." I turn back to look at him in the face "If you don't believe me then you don't believe me but I'm not going to sit here and allow her to break me."

He grabs my arm before I could walk outside "if you don't want me to go to the dance with her I won't" I look in his eyes to see if he was sincere.

He pulls me in and I wrap my hands around his neck he gives me soft kisses all around my cheeks showering me with them. "I mean it if you don't want me go I won't go".

"I know" I say. He lifts me up and I wrap myself hips around his hips as he takes me outside to the car.

I wonder what my mom would say about this. She always loved Blaine she would tell me that we would end up together. I liked to think she was right but I don't think she meant with all this drama.

He sits me down in the car and walks to his spot in the car. I wonder what he's thinking about he's so quiet and expressionless.

"I'm still mad about the Madeline thing I wonder if I should ask him about the letters but it would set him off"

He says "say what's on your mind?"

What?" I asked.

"There's something you want to say so say it" he replied. Not looking at me he's looking out into the road like the first time we were ever in the car together alone.

"Did you still send letters to Madeline even while we were sleeping together?" I asked. Half not wanting to know the answer. I could change everything with one word.

He looks like he doesn't want to answer the question. I know I have no right to ask him this question but it stays with me. What if he's still in love with her? I can't allow myself to get caught in some type of love triangle, so I can be the person it hurts.

He's still not answering me the car is filled with silence. Yet the silence says more than words do. "Then go to the dance with her"

"Elle..." I don't let him finish his sentence before I put my headphones in my ears.

When we get to school I take out my headphones and walk out the car. Riley and Francis are speaking to each other in front of the school. I wonder what they could be talking about. Francis doesn't even go here.

Blaine screams for me but I ignore it and start walking towards Riley and Francis. Francis takes my arm and walks me away from Riley.

"Are you sleeping with Blaine? Be honest"

"Did Riley tell you?" I'm surprised if she did. She's never been the one for drama.

"No, I saw you come out of the bathroom and moments later Blaine came out. I know you guys are sleeping together. So don't lie" he screams.

Everyone is staring at us as now. Look at all the drama I have caused and it's only November. "Yes I was Sleeping with Blaine" he walks away from me. Not giving me a chance to explain to him. But what did I have to explain I went behind his back and cheated on him. I'm such a horrible person.

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Q: Do you think Elle's wrong for not believing in Blaine?. Do you think Blaine still had feeling for Madeline?.