CHAPTER ELEVEN [F-U#11]
"Just look at the board!"
"Which board?"
"What do you mean, which board?!"
"The chopping board or-"
"For fuck's sake! THE DAMN CHESSBOARD!" With spit flying out like a fucking water gun, Big turd had once again ripped his asshole.
HAZAAR! (R.I.P Big turd's asshole. May you rest in the toilet-)
"You mean this chessboard?" I grinned, wiggling a finger towards the honestly-racist-board infront of us. Which made the father look more and more like a fucking pepper. Wow, Big turd! Did you forget to tell me that you fucking left Bobby and the others?! "The fuck? Maybe you should go back to Cha-Ching or something."
"WHY YOU-!"
"Why are you even angry anyways?" I present to you, darlings. The 'Scratch that, you know why' question of the fucking year! WOHOO! WE ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING ACHIEVEMENT IN THIS NEW FUCKING THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE MISSION!
Oh shit. Maybe i should worry about the future hell king. Whoops! (Finally fucking got the chance to say it! Whoops! Oh! There it is again!)
"Why?! Why?! You said you knew how to play chess, earlier!" Did i? Oh yes, I did! Fuck, the amnesia is definitely getting to me. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRESENT THIS NEW YEAR, LIFE! I'LL DEFINITELY CHERISH IT, YOU BITCH!
"But i do!"
"Your playing says otherwise!"
"Rude!" I pouted as i stuck my tongue out towards the other bitch. Ahem, the rude bitch. "How do you even know if i fucking suck or not?"
"Your rook is moving diagonally!" I laughed at Big turd's red-ass face. It truly was a remarkable scene! (Damn, me! Such fucking fancy words! We could swoon humans with this! Soon, we can take over the world! Cue cruel cackle!)
I gasped dramatically.
"Alberto is a fucking tower-man! He can move however he fucking wants! How dare you rob him of his freedom!" I plucked Alberto the rook out from the horrible, horrible (and racist) board and held him like a fucking baby with my cheeks. (Wrong imagination, fuckers!)
The man infront of me sighed heavily. (And aggressively!)
"You know what? Why am i even wasting my time on this? I should have stopped from the beginning! Should have known he'll name the chess pieces. Alberto! For fuck's sake! What's next? Take them out to dinner-!" I grinned at the chessboard as Big turd kept rambling his fucking head off.
Now, now, darlings. For some that doesn't know how to fucking play the oh-so-wating-game called chess, Alberto honestly isn't supposed to be twerking diagonally.
But who the fuck cares, right?
Oh i know! A rip-off Pepper from Cha-Ching! Ah yes, the world truly knows its ways to entertain me.
I suddenly stilled as my fucking eyes had once again become a bitch and landed at a piece on the racist-board. And voilà! I fucking knew my biggest mistake.
But En! Isn't living your biggest mistake? Yeah, yeah, bitches. I fucking know. But according to the rules of McDonald's, there is only one mistake in chess that is the cause of all Big turd's fucking yelling and scolding!
And it's!
"Oh. I fucking forgot the king."
Yes, it is i! (Enola bitch) Fucking...forgetting...the king.
YOU ARE READING
Life Of A Fuck-Up
HumorPsst! Stop for awhile. Stop those negative thoughts of yours. Worthless? Waste of space? Villain? Criminal? Slut? Pshhh! You don't need to listen to those! That's why i'm here, after all! Come with me, join me. No, this is not some cult or anythin...
