Life Of A Fuck-Up

Bumper cars, but more dangerous!

CHAPTER NINE [F-U#9]

"What the fuck happened to you? You look like a burnt chicken nugget." I said, looking at Big turd whose shirt had charcoal on it.

Looking beside him, Eagle nervously fiddled with her cute little fucking fingers. The fuck happened here?

"The stove went loose."

"Daddy, you w-were cooking." I laughed at Big turd's betrayed face, and Eagle's innocent one. She really is my fucking daughter!

"Pumpkin, how could you?" I smacked my daughter's father on the fucking back before grinning.
"Be prepared Big turd, it's going to happen a whole lot, since you're here with me."

"For the last time, I fucking regret my decision in joining you." He groaned into his hand, while i grinned at Eagle.

"Besides that, don't worry if you burned the house fucking down. We can still live on the streets!" I cheerfully said, earning a gulp from Big turd, and a curious fucking gaze from my daughter.

The man i was smacking on the back, waved my hand off and picked up my fucking Eagle. "If you lose her, I'll kill you myself. Got it?"

"Me? Lose my fucking daughter? Never! How ever could you think like that, Big turd." It probably would be more fucking convincing if there wasn't a big-ass grin on my face. (That made me look like the Cheshire Cat)

He rolled his eyes and smiled at his little fucking pumpkin. While they do some sappy fucking things there, let me explain to you darlings what we're going to be fucking doing.

First of all, PRIDE MONTH BITCHES!

I know, I know, I'm fucking late to happily declare, that the most diverse fucking month is here!

Today is the sixteenth of October! Sixteen days late, I fucking know. But October isn't really the fucking 'month' of pride, is it? What month is it again? Fuck, I'm getting old.

Oh! It's fucking June. That's right!

Well, let's fucking pretend since technically this month is sorta considered the fucking month of pride. Well, the history of it, really.

But fuck it, HAZAAR! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BITCHES! PARTY TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT, AND LOVE YOURSELF! WOHOO!

But no. You and me, darlings, have a plan for fucking today. (not literally! Well, if you don't want t-) We, are going to be taking my daughter fucking S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G! (Damn that's fucking long) Shopping?! Yes, shopping! We're going to fucking pretend to be celebrities and force them to give us fucking discounts!

Though, with our clothes, the only thing they'll probably fucking give us, is a fine. Damn bitches and their judgmental perspectives. Though i know that i can't blame them. It's been fucking ingrained into their minds. Especially the fucking society today.

So remember darlings, sometimes people can't fucking help but judge things based on the outside alone. It's not wholly their fault. Besides, you don't have to fucking listen to their messed-up perspective about you. Listen to yourself, take care of yourself. And fucking love yourself.

YOU GOT THAT YOU LITTLE SHITS?

Because if you don't, I'm going to fucking give a whole-ass lecture about the importance of every fucking human in this fucked-up world!

"Are you going to leave now?" I snapped from my fucking rage rant, and looked at Big turd. Eagle was also looking at me with that cute innocent face that could fucking stop a war.