Life Of A Fuck-Up

When did groceries became harder to get?

CHAPTER FIVE [F-U#5]

"No."

"Oh fucking come on, Toll!"

"I told you to stop spouting nonsense."

"So i should stop saying your fucking name?" I crossed my arms in defence.

He looked at me and munched on his FUCKING chillies.

"You just came up with that, didn't you?" He raised an eyebrow.
ALERT! HE RAISED THE FUCKING BROW! LET ME BEAT THIS ASSHAT!

"And you just fucking 'came up' with the fact that YOU. HAVE. A. BRAIN!"

You're probably wondering, 'What the fuck is happening?'

I'll gladly fucking explain, darlings!

"Language, T.M."

"Never!"

As i was fucking saying, every year, me and Tan golf-boy here, hangs out the entire twenty-four hours!

Specifically, on the twenty-first of June.

Specifically, on that sweet, sweet fucking day!

But how do we fucking do this?

How. Do. We. Stay. Together. For. A. Whole. Fucking. Day?

Good question, darlings!
(And fuck you to those who didn't even try! I am O-F-F-E-N-D-E-D!)

How do we stay together for a day, when even most fucking family members don't want to?

The answer to that is simple and really just fucking bullshit.
Well in Toll's fucking eyes, though!

We take turns!

"First it's the idea of a fucking strip bar, and now this?" It's my turn to raise the fucking brow, darlings!

Tollimer rolled his eyes and pointed his chili-free hand at me.

"Your idea of an...idea, is more ridiculous than your love for oatmeal."

I pointed my fucking finger at him, looking HIGHLY offended.

"And i don't see you, not fucking loving your chillies like your tiny Toll!"

"Very amusing indeed."

He said, sarcasm dripping from every word. Darlings, may i get fucking permission to kill?

"And highly appropriate for...children like you." He continued, eyeing me with judging eyes, then shaking his head in what i assume (better fucking be) is mock disappointment.

Who am i kidding? Who needs fucking permission to take out the fucking trash?

"Oh yeah? Bet you can't do fucking better than that!"

No, this is definitely not childish.

Nope! Not fucking at all.
(Literally and figuratively! Well, maybe i won't fucking mind the first one, if you know what i mean.
Innocence is out of the picture!)

Tollimer spared me a second glance and looked me in the fucking eyes with suspicion.

"And you tell me, you can? I know a million ways to fight, and a hundred ways to block you."

"Of cou- wait, what?"

I blinked in surprise, I grinned in realization, I screamed in happiness, and i laughed at a fucking confused golf ball.

"Didn't know you were into that sort of fucking games, asshole!"

I cackled madly like a mad man who found his lover's bitch!