Another Life

15

A few days later we found ourselves sat back inside the familiar doctor's office. It felt weird knowing we weren't going in there for a regular prenatal appointment, that we wouldn't be doing all the tests, the blood pressure, the urine sample, we were there for the ultrasound and the ultrasound only.

My leg was jumping nervously in the chair, it had started soon after we had sat down and after a few minutes of it I had put my hand against my knee to try and calm it, but that hadn't worked - and until this point I was just hoping Jay hadn't noticed, but sure enough he had and he reached his hand out, putting it on top of my own hand that was still rested there.

He moves forward on the stool and the damn thing squeaks, making me crack a smile at the sudden noise. He looks to me, meeting my gaze. We don't say anything for a moment, we just stare to each other but eventually he does break that silence as well. "Are you sure you wanna do this? We could call it off, wait until they're born again?"

I smile again but shake my head. "I don't have the patience to wait."

With Macie we had decided to surprise ourselves with whether we were having a girl or a boy, and that had been really fun, however the reveal ended up not being at all like what we had built up in our heads all of those weeks. Jay had grabbed hold of my free hand - the other being wrapped up in a sling - and he whispered to me that we had a little girl when I hoarsely asked what had happened, him then mentioning how Will had said while she was a good size for twenty-eight weeks she'd need at least ten weeks in the NICU before we could take her home, and still to the present day the rest of that conversation was unsure to me, the pain relief mixed with leftover anesthesia made me black out.

Jay nods. "Okay." Is all he can say before the door opens, bringing Leah into the room with her signature smile.

She gets set up before turning to me. "So, you two ready?" She asks.

I give Jay a subtle look before we both nod in response to her question. She mumbles a "Great!" and then tells me to lie down in the chair so she could get the ultrasound started.

After being told to, I roll my shirt up, bunching up the fabric into my hand along the front of my chest so I could have something to grip on to. I didn't know why I felt so nervous today, it was just another ultrasound, but at the same time it was an ultrasound that would change a lot of things. Following this we'd need to think of names, which if it's anything like last time it's gonna be worse than having an actual baby... Okay, that might be an overreaction, but picking a name is a lot harder than you may think.

Jay's hand reaches out again, locking with mine as he rubs the pad of his thumb over my pinky finger, and there's a smile to his lips when I look up to him.

"So, what's the guesses?" Leah asks as she puts the gel on my stomach, starting up the ultrasound.

Jay chuckles slightly beside me. "Everybody we know says girl."

She lets out a laugh too. "Well let's see, shall we?" She asks before furrowing her eyebrows. "What about you two?"

Jay responds with his answer, which like everyone else was girl.

When Leah turns her attention to me I stammer a little, not really sure on what to say. "I- I don't know, it's been girl the whole time but the last week I'm not so sure."

"What about big sister?" She asks, her eyes now on the screen rather than on us.

Now it's my turn to let out a laugh. "Oh she thinks it's a boy, wants it to be a boy, needs it to be a boy, you get the idea."

Leah smiles but doesn't add anything to my answer, instead brings my attention to the screen as she starts moving the transducer across the lower part of my very obvious abdomen, pointing to the profile now currently in front of us. "Well whatever they are, little one's currently sucking their thumb." Leah says, pointing out the hand up by the baby's face and I'm not really sure why but it melts my heart, bringing a wide unconscious smile up to my face.