Another Life

18

Thanksgiving came and went and before we knew it it was the days leading up to Christmas. It was few days to go until the actual holidays, and to say the house had become a madhouse was an understatement, especially now Macie was old enough to understand what Christmas was, and what it was all about.

I walk into the bedroom and find Jay sat in bed, stacks of books scattered around him, highlighters and pens laced in between every finger as he reads over the study material for the four-dozenth time.

I sigh and lean against the doorframe, waiting there until he eventually spots me.

He doesn't look for long, giving me a quick smile and in the blink of an eye his head is buried deep back in the books.

I walk into the room and make my way over to the bed, sitting down beside him. "You're gonna give yourself a stress headache if you keep going, why don't you just put the books down for the night?"

Jay doesn't move his gaze. "I've just got to read these few pages today."

"You've read it a hundred times already, I'm surprised you don't know the whole book off by heart." I joke.

He dead-eyes me. "I do know it all off by heart but I still feel like I don't know enough for the exam. I have a week, Hailey, exactly a week and I'm not ready for it."

I can't help but give him a disapproving look as I reach forward and put my hand over the pages currently visible. "That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard and we have a potty-training toddler, crap everywhere. I don't care what the tiny voice in your head is telling you, Jay, you are ready for this exam."

"It's just I can't risk screwing this up, you heard what Voight said; the Ivory Tower's coming down hard on him, he might not even make it to results day. I don't pass this exam then what? I've let the unit down, I've left Voight down. He's counting on me to be able to pick up the unit after he's gone so I have to pass."

"And you're going to, but you can't think like that. You are ready to be a sergeant, and you're going to kick the exam's ass when you go in there next week, but you can't think as though you're gonna let the unit down because you're not. Sergeant or not you're an amazing cop, and everyone who's worked with you can vouch for that."

Jay's face loosens and his lips turn upwards. "Thank you." He says and his words are similar to a whisper.

I nod before tilting my head to the side. "You gonna go to sleep?"

Jay slowly shakes his head. "I just wanna finish these pages first."

I climb in under the covers and switch off my bedroom lamp, now only his one lighting up the room. "Okay, but I'm going to sleep so be quiet." I tell him before lying down against the pillow.

The last thing I see is Jay putting his eyes back on the book and I'm out like a light in a second.

************

When I woke up it was still dark outside, which granted isn't strange for the end of December but something inside me told me it wasn't as late as I would need it to be. My eyes open slowly and I'm blinded by the light coming from in front of me - the light of Jay's bedside lamp. I rub my eyes and the motion grabs Jay's attention, him lifting his gaze from the book quickly, too late for him to put it down and pretend as though he wasn't still reading from it.

I groan and roll over slightly so I can reach my phone, lighting up the lock screen before I let out another complain as I look back to Jay. "It's three-thirty, what are you still doing up?"

Through my half-shut eyes I can see his face lift in surprise. "It's what?!"

I try not to lift my head from the pillow as much, if I did it would put a dampen on my intentions of going straight back to sleep after this, and move forward, grabbing the books one-by-one from being sprawled out on his lap, reaching behind me again and putting the books on my bedside table. "You can get those back in the morning," I say and it feels like something I would say to Macie when taking one of her toys from her right before bed. "And until the morning, which by the way starts no earlier than seven, you are going to sleep, otherwise you are going to be grumpy and quite frankly a bit of a pain in the ass, so go to sleep." I add, leaning over him and switching off his bedside lamp.