Another Life

4

"You're what?" Jay's voice comes up a few beats after my own, accompanied with the screwed up confused face staring back at me, the smile from before gone without a second glance back.

I sigh. "You heard me." I mutter and watch as he leans back, ripping his hand from mine.

He takes his eyes away from my gaze, darting them around the room as if trying to piece it all together in his head. I gave him the time he needed, staying quiet as he processed the news.

Eventually he drops his gaze to the floor, scooting further back on the coffee table to the point the back of his knees where against the edge of the table. He takes in a sharp breath before slowly looking back up to me, only talking once he had my attention.

"Okay," he starts and I start to dread what was coming next even more, the fear of what he might say building up in my stomach and if I wasn't already nauseous I would say I started to feel sick. "Look, I - uh - I don't know what to say."

I nod. That wasn't exactly what I was thinking he would reply with, but it was better than what I had built it up in my head. Before I can say something Jay speaks up, voicing one of his many questions he had in store.

"Are you sure?" He asks, his eyebrows knitting together.

There's a slight smile that comes on my face - far from any of kind of joy or happiness related smile, it was one that nodded my head at him without me actually moving my head. "Pretty sure."

He cuts in quickly. "Because with everything going on right now, with work and Macie, I'd understand why you might think you would be-"

"Jay," I cut him off before he can go further, making him snap his mouth shut sharply, "Will was there after I took the test if you need another witness."

"Will knows?"

"Yeah, I mean he was the one that told me I might be pregnant in the first place." I reply.

Jay closes his eyes, raising his hand and nervously scratching the side of his head before rubbing the back of his neck. After a beat, he just sighs. "Hailey, what do you want me to say right now? I seriously don't have anything."

I shrug, a moment passing before my response falls from my lips slowly. "I don't know."

And with that the two of us fall into a silence, staring around the room at anything but each other, both of us waiting for the other to say something else. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife and I wanted nothing more than for it to be broken but the last thing I wanted was to say the wrong thing and get Jay more freaked out than he already was.

But after a minute I couldn't stop myself from holding in the words any longer, and I let them out, causing a sting in my eyes as I did.

"I'm sorry." I apologize and at first I don't know why I did it, I wasn't sure what I was sorry about.

Jay's gaze turns to mine quickly, the fastest I had seen in a while, and his face drops from slight confusion to slight worry. "About what?"

That was a very good question.

For my response I just allowed my mouth to take over, clearly it knew what it wanted to say without giving my brain the memo.

"We have been so careful, using the same way because we knew it worked for two years, nothing had ever come up, we never even had that momentary thought that I could have been pregnant in the past, it had to have been that night in the motel. I swore I was earlier on, that I was in that window of the lowest chance, I didn't know."

Jay jumps forward on the coffee table again, only just managing to keep himself on the furniture he was sat so close to the edge, reaching his hands forward and putting them on top of mine.