17/04/18
it's been four days.
my urges have gone crazy.
it feels like i'm going insane.
so i'm going to try the other store again.
and i'm standing right infront of it .
right now.
for some reason i'm scared.
i'm used to that store, it wasn't weird buying cigarettes for me.
oh well.
i took a deep breath and walked into the store.
i had a black cap on that covered my eyes so i felt more protected i guess.
"Marlboro please,"
i stared at the cashiers table, getting the money out from my pocket.
i slided the money across the table waiting for them to place the packet onto it.
but they didn't.
they stayed silent for a couple of minutes.
i was about to look up until i felt a hand slowly taking my cap off.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
i slowly raised my eyes and made eye contact with the cashier.
it was the boy.
the boy from the back of the store.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
"not happening," he smiled.
