18/04/18
it's the next day now.
i didn't end up getting the cigarette unfortunately.
but today.
i'm going to try again.
even though yes i could try other stores but i don't want to.
i want to talk to him.
i like his attention for some reason.
i crave it.
yet i don't know why.
i checked the time.
right on time by the looks of it.
it's his break.
well i hope.
what if i got the time wrong?
i walked a few steps just to see that i was right, he was sat on his usual spot, smoking.
good luck points for me.
i eagerly ran up to him.
and before i got to even breath.
"no,"
my heart dropped, and so did my lips, creating a frown.
"you didn't even know what i was going to say," i folded my arms in annoyance.
he looked up at me, squinting due to the sun "i guessed," he smiled.
i rolled my eyes and plopped myself next to him.
it was silent for a couple of minutes as i was inhaling the smoke that he let out.
and after a few seconds he decided to say something.
"why do you even smoke anyway,"
my mouth fell dry.
i don't know why but i've always dreaded that question.
'why do you smoke' it's just such a question that i'd rather not been asked off.
and to be honest i didn't know what to say.
well i do.
kind of.
it was stress.
but isn't that with most people.
everyone smokes to release stress.
so do i have to be more descriptive?
i got it.
"college stress,"
he slowly turned to look at me and while at it, dropped his cigarette on the floor, crushing it to bits.
i glanced at the ruined cigarette and then back at him.
his eyes were piercing mine.
kind of intimidating in a way.
"is that it?" he raised his eyebrow.
well i mean obviously there's more, like money issues and other things.
well now that i think about it smoking gives me more money issues.
but my life has been stressful since and its just gotten worse and if smoking is the way i can relax at times then so be it.
i stared at him, with no expression, before finally speaking.
"well no there's obviously more-"
"so you smoke to release stress right?" he asked.
"well yeah,"
"okay well how about from now on you give me all your stress." he shot out an idea that made no sense to me.
"what," i said with a blank face and a emotionless voice.
"rant to me, everyday, about everything," he made it more simple, "we're both strangers either way so it won't be embarrassing,"
i pressed my lips together.
you see the idea doesn't seem bad it's just that first of all he's hot so yes it is slightly embarrassing and second of all it's not that easy.
"well it's not that simple, i can't just all of a sudden rant to you and BOOM i'm all better my addiction is equals gone," i said sarcastically giving out a small laugh afterwards.
"there's different ways to relieve stress you know," he tilted his head "and this is one them,"
i rolled my eyes, being stubborn like usual.
"just give it a try," he gave me one last smile and one last hope before using my shoulder to lift himself up as he walked away and entered the other store.
well guess i will have to try it.
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sorry this ones longer than usual.
