Sometimes I still think of you.
Not in an "I miss you way"
But in a "I remember that" way
In a way where I think of you burying yourself inside of me without permission
In a way where I cannot seperate then from now
In a way where you are all of me and I cannot cleanse myself of you.
Sometimes if I try hard enough I can go to school without thinking of the time you slid your hands in my pants without consent in the band room.
Sometimes, if I really try, I can even convince myself that it was my fault.
You live in the back of my mind and on days I feel empty you resurface.
I always come back to the thought of you at the end of the day.
You haunt me as if you aren't still alive.
As if you aren't in every conversation I have with old friends or family I haven't seen in a while.
As if you aren't present every time I see a ring pop.
As if you aren't present in my mind when I go to the park.
If things keep going like this I am convinced I may need an exorcism to free myself from the grasp you have on my mind.
You haunt me.
You are my own personal ghost.
YOU ARE READING
Whispered Thoughts and Screaming Lines
PoetryMy attempts at poetry Trigger warning for every poem Mentions of: suicide, self harm, eating disorders, dysphoria, etc. Most poems are written as spoken word so if they sound weird when you read them that's why
