Handle It

Looking Through A Mirror

Sorry for any mistakes, I dont feel good and couldn't be bothered to edit.

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Sitting in this hospital bed gave me so much time to think. I just kep thinking 'what would make me do something so selfish as taking my own life and hurting all the people I love, especially my mom.' It hurt me to know that my mom was the one to find me half dead, that's not who I am, I don't hurt the people I love. But yet I have hurt everyone I love, I've turned two bestfriends against eachother, I've broken the heart of the guy who truely loves me and for what a moment of pleasure, I've played with Chase's heart,I lost my bestfriend, and I scared my mom. If this doesn't show me that I need to change, then I dont know what will.

I was laying in my hospital bed under the thin white blanket when there was a knock on the door. I sat up and told whoever was on the other side of the door to come in. The door opened and to my surprise Izzy was standing there visibly upset with tears in her eyes. My mom had told me that Izzy,was here the entire time I was in a coma which shocked me because I thought our friendship was over, maybe there is hope for us.

"If you ever do something like that again I will kill you my damn self." Says a tearful Izzy as she rushes over to my bed and engulfs me in a big sisterly hug. I hold her tightly not wanting to let go. I don't care what diffrences we have had in the past, I just need my bestfriend.

"Im sorry Iz, for everything."I sob into her shoulder.

"Im sorry too nena" she pulls away from our hug and wipes both our tear stricken eyes. I love this girl no matter what.

"Now tell me why the hell you tried to kill yourself and why the hell Nick and Chase are fighting."

I sigh and lay back on my hospital bed looking up at the ceiling then proceeding to tell Izzy my problems.

"I broke Nick's heart, played with Chase's, made them hate eachother, and lost my bestfriend and boyfriend all in just two weeks. I spent everyday just going to school then coming home to cry myself to sleep, I haven't eaten in god knows how long which is why I look like the walking dead." I sigh heavily and close my eyes, "The night I took the pills I was so confused and feeling sorry for myself that I almost gave my virginity to Chase, thank god he turned me down because I would have regretted it." My mind drifts off to that night. What the hell was I doing, I don't know that girl. The London I was before all these boys came into my life would have never been willing to give up her virginity just so she can feel better, im so ashamed.

"What the hell were you thinking London!? How could you do that to Nick and with Chase of all people?"

I open my eyes and look at Izzy who looks like she's ready to slap me, and to be honest I wouldn't mind.

"I was hurting and I didn't care about anyones feelings but my own and I know that was wrong which is why I kicked Chase out of my house. I cried so much that night because I didn't like what I had become so I thought that everyone would be better off without me in their lives so I took a handfull of pills and now im here in this hospital bed."

"Normally I would yell at you but I see how fragile and weak you are and I dont need you feeling like shit right now. I'm just here to be a friend because I love you and I hate seeing you like this, but as your friend Im going to tell you that you need to talk to both Nick and Chase... Oh and your psycho dad because he knows about you and Nick."

"Ughh!!" I groaned burying my head into my hands. Great! Just another thing I have to add to my list of things to worry about. Not only is he mad at me for banning him from my room but now he knows I used to date Nick. Im dead for real this time.

"How mad was he?"

"Girrrl he was pissed! Him and your mom even got into it." She says shaking her head.