[DURING WRITING] Hardest to love - The Weeknd fanfiction

CHAPTER 17

Maggie's pov

When we went to the kitchen, I started looking for necessary ingredients. Abel wasn't helping but just messing around. He was tickling or hugging me from behind, kissing my neck, cheek, etc which was distracting me (in a positive way)

"Abe, please stop" I said laughing, but he didn't listen so I had to go further

"You leave me no choice" then I grabbed a rolling pin (it was the first thing I found close at hand xd) and said:

"If you keep messing with me, I'll have to teach you a lesson" we started laughing

"Okay, okay, I'll help you, just don’t beat me" he was pretending he was scared and wanted to hide.

It made me laugh so hard. I am really glad to have him in my life. It’s a wonder that he found me and didn't give up. I found out his real side and maybe we really are meant to be? Idk... I need some more time.

When we put our food to the oven, we went back to the living room and sat down on the sofa again. But this time Abel lifted me and sat oh his knees.

"You see? Everyone think we should be together, not only the fans. And they all are right. You can't deny you don’t feel anything for me, 'cause you do and you know it as well. I love you, Meg. I fell for you since the moment I saw you and nothing will change that. I know you feel the same - you showed me today" Abel's words got me a little sad and he had to see it, 'cause he added:

"But baby, don’t think I am insulting you or trying to make you rush or sth, I just want to know, I have to be sure I have a chance to be with you someday. I am just afraid that I'm a loser and jerk for you"

"Hey, don’t ever talk like that, okay? You are NOT a loser!" Abel didn't answer me, so I continued:

"Why would I think like that?"

"You don't want me" he only said...

"It’s not like that..."

"No? Then how is it like? Please, tell me. I have to know 'cause I'm going crazy" I could feel pain in his voice

"Ughh... Fine. I'll tell you. I do have feelings towards you. But my past doesn’t let me move on. I am afraid of being hurt again and losing such a great person like you. My insecurities, panic attacs and anxiety would ruin our relationship. Yes, I have 'em. You may think I don’t, but it's just a mask I wear everyday. You could have any girl you want and you are here wasting your time with someone like me... All girls here are way better than me: more beautiful, more confident and everything...
I need some time, Abel. Our friendship is the best thing that happened to me. My previous friends turned out to be fake, I was bullied at every school I attended. All people could do was just hurting me. Even my dad didn't support me. It all caused my trust issues. You are the only person I told that, 'cause everyday I try to play it cool. I don’t want anyone else to know. Baby (yes I called him like that for the first time), I promise we'll be together, but not now. I love you too and that’s why I want to wait. I want our relationship to be special. I want us to be happy together, not to cry or fight. I'll let you know when I'll be ready, I promise..." I was crying during my talk.

"Maggie I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. Ugh I'm so stupid!" he felt guilty

"Don’t be mad at yourself. I always cry when I think about my past. But present is way more better. It’s a compensation for everything I went through" I smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"I'll give you as much time as you will need. Now please, don’t cry... I am sorry. I just had to know..." he still felt guilty

"It’s okay, Abe" I tried to cheer him up.

"Can I kiss you for the last time? I just can't stop myself from doing it. Also, I want to remember the taste of your lips and how it feels to have them on mine. I don’t know when will be the next time, so..." that question surprised me, but I agreed, because I didn't want to hurt him. He really loves me...

I was still sitting on his knees so I turned to face him. So we were looking like that:

He pulled me closer so our bodies were touching each other. I felt the heat again. When he placed his hands on my hips, I felt shivers all over my body. My heart started racing like crazy and breath became heavy. I took his face in my hands and kissed him.

I was planning it to be quick, but Abel took control. He loves passionate kisses, just like the one in the shop. First he just brushed my lips slowly, but then kisses became longer and deeper. He was gentle and soft all the time.
When we pulled away to take a breath, our food was done.

"Let's go eat!" Abel started happily

"But first, tell me, will you stay for the night?" he asked with a puppy face and eyes full of hope.

"I...uhm..." I was  shocked, 'cause I didn't expect that question

"Please, say yes. We will sleep in different rooms if you want to, I can give you my clothes..." he started counting but I interrupted him

"Okay, okay... I will stay" I answered

"Yaaay! Thank you" he lifted me up and spinned me around

"But now let's go eat!" we both laughed and he carried me to the kitchen.