Hiraeth (Reader x Spencer Reid)

#4

You woke up to the sound of your god awful alarm on a saturday morning. You start talking to yourself something you do when you're stressed, confused or agitated. "What the fuck were you thinking, on your second week you had sex with your coworker..... Did he actually want to do that? Do I want a relationship right now? No! You just got your dream job you can't let this get in the way. Shit I don't know." 

You also went on runs when you got worked up. You dealt with your shit before this way, so it was kinda just a habit. You got out of your haze and slipped on some leggings that made your butt look flawless, and then grabbed a sports bra and threw a plain white tee over that. You started admiring your body when it all came flooding back. You didn't like that he was so quick to have sex with you. It made you feel like some whore. You grab your switch blade and put it in the pocket of the jacket you grabbed. You almost forgot your keys. You grab them and your phone and hustle to your car. 

Your Jeep renegade was the perfect car for you. Your sister made fun of you for it. She said 'It fit your personality too well' and 'it was so original' You start the car and drive to the nearby high school track. There was one other girl there she seemed to be in her teens, other than her there was no one else there. It was perfect for you to get lost in your thoughts. You look over past the track, and see a dirt path that read 'Wildoers trail 3 mile loop' Nature too wow perfect. You plugged your airpods into your ears and put it on transparency mode so you could hear your surroundings. You play your favorite playlist and start running. Normally you run to blow off steam or escape from reality but this time you wanted to get lost in your thoughts. You wanted to make a plan for what to do with Reid. 

You had no idea where to start. First you thought of how you were gonna treat him. You were deciding between, extremely professional but keep the spark alive, or overpowering professional. You thought deeper into each option. Keeping the spark alive could ruin your other relationships before they can even start. Or you could try to keep the one night stand a one night stand, and focus on your work and building friendships. You decide on keeping it a one night stand, you really hoped you wouldn't regret that choice. 

You pass by the half mile marker. Next you have to decide on how to deal with miss tell everyone your secrets. You could go drinking with her and try to explain it, ohh you her and Sierra could get wasted and talk. That sounded like a lot of fun. You three used to get wasted all the time together. It was weird at first because pen was like a mentor to you, but it's the Penelope Garcia she became one of your best friends, and favorite drinking buddy. You look up and see the mile and half marker. You decide to walk the next half mile. 

You were so busy dancing to the bomb ass music you were listening to that you forgot why you came to run. You look up and see the 2 mile marker. You start thinking about the future. You come up with the idea to wait a year before considering making Reid your bitch. That seemed like a good plan; you wouldn't have to worry about destroying any relationships or ruining your career. Thinking about the team you think about the way JJ interacted with Reid. You look up and see the 2.5 mile mark. I mean you could just talk to her about it. You decided to have a conversation with her, but you have to wait until it could come more casually, after you built a relationship with her. Your mind then rushes to Emily, you think your straight but I mean men suck. You have always thought about maybe trying a relationship with a woman. You know that this is called the questioning stage, let's just say you visit this stage a lot. You finish and you get to the end and run to your water bottle sitting on the bleachers. You grab your water and take a cool down lap or two. You get back to thinking.

You decide on only calling Reid, Reid. Never to say his first name in hopes that, that would make the relationship more professional. You think back to the other night, his dick slamming into you, his voice and the grunts coming from his mouth. You get extreme butterflies, almost like there is something inside you kicking you in the stomach. (I don't plan on making y/n pregnant, this was just a metaphor. Also I know the baby won't start kicking until the 2nd trimester I just didn't want the comments:) You finish your cool down lap and get into your car. You realize how hungry you are, you have to eat. You are recovered from a ED but you don't want to ever let that be a solution. You have been doing really good, you are less afraid of people seeing you eat and eating in general. You know food is your friend not your enemy. You want to treat your body well, mostly for putting up with you. You think a smoothie, but nope that isn't enough. You decide to go to this healthy food place you recalled seeing. It was called The Hive, it looked really modern, and interesting, there was always a line of people out the door. 

You get there unsure what to get you ask the person in front of you. "Excuse me, I've never been here before, what do you usually get?" A gorgeous short haired brunette with blue eyes looks at you. "Hi, this place is great, I usually get the Chicken avocado salad, with a pressed lemon celery juice." You love avocado so you say "Thanks, I'm y/n by the way." She seems so nice you treat her with extreme kindness, something you can't help but do to strangers. "I love that name I'm Elizabeth." You've been in line for like ten minutes, when Elizabeth turns around to start a conversation. "Looks like we're gonna be here awhile, do you mind talking?" You of course want to say no, that you don't mind, but you also don't like talking to people you aren't close to. You have a thing with being overly awkward around other people.  "No I would love that." You say hoping it would make the time pass by quicker. "So..are you in college or are you working?" she said. "I have a job, I just recently started, to say the least it's my dream job. How about you?" You are afraid to tell her where you work, everyones reaction is different. "I'm on my last year of college, I'm studying Criminal Justice, I hope to eventually join the FBI." You got nervous over that. "Wait..really? I just finished getting my PHD I'm in the FBI now." You blurt. For an FBI agent you are really stupid, but she seemed trustworthy. She got so excited after hearing that. She noticed your tension. She reached into her purse, to which you responded with reaching for your switch blade, she pulled out her Student ID. You let go of your blade, and grabbed the ID. She was in fact a student at a nearby college. You handed it back and grabbed a piece of paper, "A  lot of people call me a genius if you need anything call me, or text me." She thanks you as the worker calls for the next person in line which happened to be her. 

You got your salad and juice and went back to your apartment. You really liked the food, you wrote it down so you wouldn't forget it. You then hopped in the shower. You decide that tonight would be a great night for drinks with Sierra and Pen. You text the group chat, "Do you guys want to get waisted at a bar tonight?" "Uh yes." "Sure" They both responded. You got ready and said for them to meet at your place. 

To be continued...

So thoughts? Feelings? Reactions? Also, I'm always here if anyone needs to talk, I don't judge. Love, the person who wrote this. 

Future me, I don't hate this one as much but it starts getting better from here.