Hiraeth (Reader x Spencer Reid)

#40

A/N: Don't play the song till you see a *

~~~One week Later~~~

You woke up with from another nightmare, you hadn't gotten a full night of sleep in over two weeks. You once had gotten a full six hours of sleep without a nightmare then you woke up to Diana screaming. You felt bad, you had to lie, or support her each time she asked or recalled where he is. He got transferred to prison which the growing human in you didn't seem to like. You're puking has gotten better, you can see the small bump starting to grow. You meant to go get an ultrasound but you got caught up with work. 

One night you went to Pen's apartment and discussed options for the fetus. You thought deeply about if Spence didn't make it out of prison you would have to raise a kid on your own. Which you could not do. You haven't been to see him but Pen went and JJ did. Everytime you thought about going, Diana had an issue. Or better there has been a shit ton of issues with the vics (Victims) multiple have committed suicide or have been institutionalized. You have had to fly out to see a few of them. Hotch offered to give you a month off, but you declined. Work is the only thing keeping you from losing your shit.  

You woke up today to Diana talking in her sleep you got up and walked into Spence's room where she slept. "Diana, come on it's just a dream." You said patting her shoulder to try and wake her. The truth is Diana adored you, when she remembered who you are. When her eyes opened she started screaming. You backed up just in case she didn't recognize you. 

"Oh y/n it's just you." She said. You smiled at her and she opened her arms. She remembers. You embraced the affection. She stroked your hair. "I'm so sorry I woke you." 

"It's alright, I didn't get much sleep anyway. How are you feeling?" She doesn't know about the baby, and neither does Spencer. He doesn't even know that he is an uncle, how are you supposed to tell him he is also going to be a father. 

"Better, than the day before. I had an awful nightmare about Spencer." She said. You pulled away from the hug and walked toward the kitchen. You had been struggling a lot to be honest, you have been having a hard time with not relapsing to the Eating Disorder, and you really want to drink your feelings away. You have lost a lot of weight, you usually eat when ever you make food for the nurse and Diana, but if you are out on a case you forget to eat. the whole belly growing too, is not helping with your extreme body dysmorphia. Pen always talked about how cute your little bump is. Nobody else knows, your scared that you might miscarriage or decide against finishing the the pregnancy. 

"I'll make you breakfast, while you tell me about your dream." You said. She sat in one of the chairs near the kitchen.

"I just had a nightmare about Spencer in prison, he shouldn't be there." 

"I know Diana I will do my best to get him out." 

You finished making her breakfast then got ready for work. You got a call about another case which didn't surprise you a bit. You changed into cargo pants and a t-shirt. The bump was barely visible. 

You had gotten to the office in no time, Em briefed you on a LDS (Long Distance Shooter) who was targeting law enforcement. After he told you the classic, 'Wheels up in 30' which you almost laughed at, it was getting cheesy at this point. After Pen caught up with you and asked more than a million questions. She told you she would make an appointment the second you got back so you can go see Spence, she saw him the day prior and she almost slipped up on the whole pregnancy thing. You said you would tell him, but you didn't plan on telling him until you were sure you wanted to keep it. 

~~~

The case is more difficult than you thought Em sen you all to a hotel in Blue Ridge, Georgia. (Please correct me if I'm wrong I know shit about this place lol) JJ and you had been placed in the same room. You had taken a shower than gone to bed. You couldn't sleep, the case kept running through your head. The LDS had become more dangerous shooting at closer distances.