my first and last || renmin

T w e n t y T w o - Last Last Good Day

Renjun entered the literal heart of jesus which was now empty except for Jeno who was up on a dais and Jaemin in his wheelchair.

Jaemin was thinner than any young man should be but for now, he was happy.

"Huang Renjun, you look ravishing." Jaemin smiled.

"I know, right? So, um, what's going on?"

"You're late." Jeno spoke.

"Late for what exactly?" Jaemin gestured for him to sit next to him and Renjun does.

"I wanted to attend my funeral. By the way, will you speak at my funeral?" Renjun looked at him like "Of course, silly" and then kissed him on the cheek.

"Sweet. I'm hopeful I'll  get to attend as a ghost but just to make sure, I thought I'd- well, not to put you on the spot but I thought I'd arrange a pre-funeral." Jaemin explained.

"Why now?"

"No time like the present." Jaemin smiled.

"How did you even get in here?" Renjun asked, looking around the room.

"Would you believe they leave the door open at night?" Jaemin smiled sneakily.

"Um, no."

"As well you shouldn't." Jaemin smiled turning back to look at Jeno on the dais.

For a brief moment, it was the old Jaemin.

Jeno cleared his throat.

"Na Jaemin was a self-aggrandizing bastard but we forgive him. We forgive him, not because he had a figuratively good heart because his actual one sucked or because he got 19 years when he should've gotten more." Jaemin cleared his throat to "correct" Jeno.

"I'm assuming you got some time you interrupting asshole! I mean seriously..." Jaemin and Renjun laughed.

"Na Jaemin talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral and he was pretentious. Sweet Jesus, that kid never took a piss without pondering the resonances of human waste production and he was vain but all that came with superhuman handsomeness." Jaemin nodded- that part was true.

"When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell them to piss off because I don't even wanna see a world without Na Jaemin." Renjun smiled but it was one that triggered an immediate emotional waterfall.

"And then of course having made my point, I will put on my robot eyes because, I mean.. robot eyes!" Jaemin had a big smile on his face.

"So anyway, Jaemin, my friend... god speed." Jaemin nodded a couple of times.

"Thank you Jeno." This caused Jeno to lose it, he clinged to the lantern.

"Goddamn it, Jaemin!" Jeno said through tears.

"Hey, don't swear in the literal heart of jesus."

"Shit! Ass! Balls!" Jeno sighed, wiping away the tears.

"Renjun, can you help me?" Renjun remembered that Jeno couldn't see.

He rised, went up to get him and walked him back to his seat.

"Huang Renjun, it's up to you." Renjun took out a piece of paper, walking up to the dais.

He sighed to get himself ready.

"Na Jaemin was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story and I won't be able to get more than a sentence out without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Like all real love stories- ours will die with us, as it should. I'd hoped that he'd be eulogizing me because there's no one I'd rather have..." That was all he could get out before falling apart.

He let it out for a couple of seconds and then pulled himself together.

"I can't talk about our love story so instead I'll talk about math. There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's 0.1, 00.1 and 000.1 and an infinite collection of others. Of course there's a bigger infinite between 0 and 2 or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are just bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get and god do I want more numbers for Na Jaemin but Jaemin, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. You gave me a forever within the numbered days and for that I am eternally grateful. You’re the only one for me. There’s no second chance, you are my first and last love. I love you." Jaemin smiled,  nodding and blinking away his tears.

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(a/n: once i've finished with this book, i'll publish a johnmark ff, hope you're looking forward to it! 👀💚)