Chapter 12: Exhale

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Normally, I never struggled with falling asleep. That night, however, was not like that. When the clock turned two in the morning, I was still wide awake, moving from my bed to the couch and back several times. My mind was racing, I kept watching the numbers on the clock change and couldn't keep my eyes closed for more than just a few seconds at a time. A part of me feared I wouldn't get a good shut-eye until all of these mysteries in my life would become unraveled. But one could not simply force such a thing. 

What I knew now for a fact was that there were actual blank spaces in my memories. I still didn't know why I was like that but at least I knew I wasn't completely insane. I needed a way to get my medical records, I was sure they would give me the most answers. I already noticed how the doctor didn't really speak in front of me and Maya was simply full of excuses. When it came to the rest of the people, I simply didn't know if they knew anything at all. Zach would surely help me, maybe even Trina. Unfortunately, I couldn't be sure about any of them. Trust was such a fragile thing and I've been learning that every single day. 

I was switching through the channels on the television but not really stopping on a single one to see what was playing. The remote controller laid in my hand, my thumb pressing the button repeatedly in a lazy rhythm. The clock above the TV set showed four in the morning and Maya still hasn't returned. She should've come home an hour and a half ago. 

I was about to pick up my phone and call her, worried that something might've happened, I heard the lock of the front door twisting and unlocking. I stretched my neck to hear giggling Maya enter the apartment and hushing another person. Oh, she was drunk. 

Squinting my eyes to see who her company was, I instantly recognized those blonde locks. It was that nurse. Scarlet. 

I couldn't help but smile to myself. I was happy for Maya. She had been single for a while now, her last relationship didn't work out so well. Although to think about it, I didn't think I actually remembered the girl she was with before. Still, Scarlet and she seemed to have an instant attraction and maybe my sister would loosen up a little bit with her help. 

Maya's arm was wrapped around Scarlet's waist as they stumbled through the front door and it slammed behind them. 

"Shh," Maya giggled and Scarlet joined in. 

"Good morning," I said from the couch and they both shrieked at the sudden noise. I laughed in response as I got up.

"Via. You ... You're up," Maya stuttered, obviously sobering up slightly and embarrassed of being caught in the act. 

"Yeah, I was just going to bed." I pointed at my bedroom door. 

"This is Scar, you remember her?" Maya said and gestured to her company. 

I smiled and nodded my head, waving at the blonde from across the room. "Yeah. Hey." 

"Hey," she replied with a smile and returned the wave. 

"We were just ... We ... We ..." Maya stuttered and I held my hand up. 

"I don't even care. It was nice to see you again, Scar," I said before I slid back into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I threw myself down on the bed and mentally cursed myself why I didn't ask Zach to stay. Regardless, I should've just gone to sleep. Why did that still seem like a mission impossible, though? Just inhale. And exhale. In and out. 

I stared at the moon right out my window until I finally slipped out of consciences. 

***

I was awakened by Trina jumping onto my bed. My eyes shot open at the sudden movement of my mattress and I'd be lying if I said I didn't roll right to the ground. My back hit the carpet with a thud and a groan left my lips. I really needed to stop meeting the floor like that. 

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