Forbidden Territories

Chapter 20: Little Do You Know

Where's the line between forgiving and unforgiving actions? What separates one from the other? Is the amount of fallen tears — once you've reached a quota it's over? Is it the balance between the seconds you laughed so hard you couldn't breathe and the seconds you sat in your bed, clenching your chest? And should someone be punished for the one thing they've done wrong or forgiven for all the things they've done right? 

Who is the one sentenced and who is pulling the trigger? 

I dropped the bags on the floor the moment I burst through the front door. My eyes closed, my quivering fingers gripping the hem of my top. I could still feel his touch on my skin. I still heard his voice and I wanted to trust him so bad. 

The day I ran into him at that bar for the first time I never would've guessed he would become such a big part of my life. Not just the good but also the bad things. Maybe I've been so mesmerized by an illusion, I missed all the warning signs. Maya warned me. But Maya also had so much bullshit coming out of her mouth, even her ass was jealous. 

Gentle knocking against the door behind me pulled me out of my thoughts. 

I didn't turn around but I spoke up: "Who is it?" 

A small pause took place before a male voice answered: "Tyler. I saw you going up the stairs and you looked upset. Is everything okay?" 

While I was consciously aware of how out of character that gesture was for Tyler, I didn't have the energy to fight my rational thinking. I turned around and pulled the door open, instantly being greeted by a pair of dark brown eyes. 

A sob broke past my lips and his arms stretched out, pulling me against his chest. 

I expected to be greeted by warmth and comfort. Instead, I felt my walls being rebuilt — brick by brick. I've never encountered a person whose mere comforting embrace would have the exact opposite effect on me. I didn't relax, I didn't continue crying, I didn't let go like I should've. 

My body somehow knew not to be vulnerable in front of him. 

I pulled back and forced out a smile as the back of my hand wiped my cheeks. Tyler was somewhat reluctant in letting me go but I took a more commanding step back and eventually his arms fell by his sides. 

"I'm fine, thank you," I replied simply and glanced at him. 

Tyler scoffed. "Let me guess—" 

I cut him off. "Whatever you're about to say right now. Don't." 

He stared at me for an instant before nodding his head and pursing his lips into a thin line. 

"It's just a long day," I said, still feeling the need to defend Zach. It didn't really matter what terms we were on. 

Looking unconvinced, Tyler set his gaze on me. "You know you can trust me, right?" 

Well, that's ... optimistic. 

"No, Tyler. I actually don't know that," I countered. The worst thing about all of this was that he lived in my fucking building. "I don't even know if I should believe all the things you've told me." 

He scowled. "Excuse me?" 

I shot him a quick, dirty look as he let himself inside my apartment. With raised eyebrows I watched him make his way straight into the living room. Because we had been such good friends, right? 

"Which part of what I said did you have trouble hearing?" I really wasn't in the mood for games but I closed the door behind him. 

As if a light bulb just lit up above his head, he turned towards me. Determined steps were taken in my direction and before I knew it, his hands were on my face — on the exact same places where Zach's had been mere minutes prior.