Forbidden Territories

Chapter 16: I Miss You

What happens when the girl who loved the little things in life gets consumed by the kind of sorrow she refused to believe even existed? I wasn't used to loneliness. I wasn't used to feeling like everyone was against me. I felt as if I was standing on the edge of the cliff and there was no other way but down because the walls were closing in from every possible direction. I wasn't exactly claustrophobic but my chest was tightening this time. I felt trapped. I didn't see the way out. I couldn't climb that high. I had nothing to grasp onto. Hopelessness began to settle into the pit of my stomach, bringing that bitter taste to my mouth. 

Zach kept texting. I realized I still cared about him because if I didn't, I wouldn't open the messages. But I did. Each one had me hold my breath. 

　　"Via, please answer me." 

　　"Please, talk to me."

　　"I'm sorry, Vivi. I'm so sorry." 

　　"I really want to fix this, tell me how to fix this." 

　　"I will do anything, please." 

　　"Via." 

I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear his explanation. I had found that if I wanted answers, I could only rely on myself and the pace at which my memories were returning. Despite them being all scattered and in no true timeline, they were the only thing I had that I could hold onto. The only thing I could believe. I had to trust that at some point, they would begin to make sense. 

Days passed. Maya tried to talk to me a couple of times more but when she was greeted with nothing but silence in return she, too, gave in. The only type of communication I had with her was the nod in her direction when she entered the living room or the kitchen. 

So, I spent my days, painting. I spent my days doing the one thing that still brought me peace of mind. I could shut it all off when I focused on that blank piece of paper. My only worries at that time were the lines I was drawing. I only had to think about where to move my hand next, where to create a curve, and where to let go. Easy enough, right? 

***

To my relief, Monday came quickly. As much as the days seemed to drag on for a while, once I allowed myself to sink into my art, hours passed quicker than I thought. 

I didn't feel like wearing bright colors. Probably for the first time in my life. 

I tugged a black shirt up to the middle of my arms and buttoned it up. I rolled the sleeves up and accompanied it with dark denim. 

Maya wasn't home, she left a few hours prior, to catch the early shift. 

I locked the door behind me and I was already on my way. 

The moment I walked into the gallery, it felt like I was hit with a breath of fresh air. It meant I could spend the next few hours doing what I loved with people who were nothing but kind to me. I knew now that I've been here before for a fact. I taught here before. I taught the same group of people. My feelings weren't lying to me. 

"Good morning," I said to the elderly ladies who were already waiting for me. 

They paused their loud chatter to greet me in return and Edith hurried to her feet, even though it looked like she was moving in slow motion. 

I just reached the desk when she caught up with me and tugged on my sleeve to catch my attention. 

"Hey, Edith. Everything okay?" I asked with a small smile. 

"Hello, sunshine. I brought you my peach cobbler as promised." 

A wide smile rested on her visage as she proudly held up a small platter with her quivering hand.