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𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 ~ Blazamy

⚠️warnings⚠️
Angst & unrequited love

Summary; au inspired heavily by the song 'self-control' by DallasK

—

I was gonna leave
But you walked right through the door

She should've left by now, but something about the pink hedgehog is making her want to stay.

Caught up in my mind
Couldn't think straight anymore

Her brain never seemed competent whenever it came to her. Just seeing her made her completely lose track of whatever she was doing, damn her lack of self control when it came to her.

The way you held me down like an anchor
Put a weight on my heart that I never felt before

They had spent many sleepless nights together, just talking, when Blaze closed her eyes... she could imagine it was pillow talk. For some reason that only made the ache so much worse.

And I'm just looking for company
When I know that I shouldn't be

The world just seems less lonely when she's there. How foolish was it to seek comfort in someone you can't have? Why couldn't her heart let her rest?

You should go and find someone
I hope that you don't find no one but me

She knows her heart belongs to another, but she prays that maybe someday... just maybe, she'd see her. See all that she could provide. She'd dedicate everyday of her life making her smile.

Turn around, walk away
'Cause I know that if you stay here

She should just leave. It's a painful sight... her and the blue hedgehog. the longer she looks at her, the more she wants to stay.

I'll lose my self control
Go before it's too late

She should leave before she does something stupid.

There's no way that you can stay here
I've got no self control

She feels sick to her stomach. Why did life have to be so cruel? What did she do to deserve this? She must have been awful in her past life, why else would all this happen?

I wanna hold you close
But I keep telling myself
That you should run away

The truth is, she tortures herself. She lets herself fantasize whenever she falls asleep in her arms... lets herself imagine a world where she would say "I love you Blaze."

'Cause you got somebody else
And it shouldn't be this way with a stranger
I know
But what I feel for you isn't something I can help

But, he has her wrapped around his finger. He's who she declares her love to... he has everything she wants. Sometimes Blaze wishes they never met, maybe then could her heart let her rest. But then again, she wouldn't take back any of the memories they had together... no, Blaze would relive those memories if she could she cherished them so much.

And I'm just looking for company
When I know that I shouldn't be

No matter how many people she tries to meet, she only wants to be around one person. No matter how many times she's tried to fall in love, her heart always finds it's way back to her. She only ever truly feels happy when she's with her.

You should go and find someone
I hope that you don't find no one but me

She knows envy is a sin but god does she drown in it whenever she sees them together. Maybe I'm another life... she'd be the one she looks for in a room.

Turn around, walk away
'Cause I know that if you stay here
I'll lose my self control

No amount of dissociating takes away the pain in her chest. No amount of girls that come and go can ever fill the pink hedgehog sized hole in her heart. No amount of drinking makes reality more bearable.

Go before it's too late
There's no way that you can stay here
I've got no self control

Why hasn't she left yet? Maybe she's a masochist. She can't stop looking at them. The pain slowly becomes... anger.

There's no way that you can stay here
I've got no self control

Why does he have that she doesn't?

Turn around, walk away
'Cause I know that if you stay here
I'll lose my self control, yeah

He doesn't deserve her.

Go before it's too late
There's no way that you can stay here
I've got no self control

She should've went home. But she didn't. She walked up to them and began to drunkenly rant about how he doesn't deserve her, how he has never deserved her.

Turn around, walk away
'Cause I know that if you stay here
I'll lose my self control

She supposes it is karma, but not from a past life, no, her stupid actions in her current life make it clear why she will never be chosen.

Go before it's too late
There's no way that you can stay here
I've got no self control, oh no

She couldn't handle not having her in the way she wanted...

There's no way that you can stay here
I've got no self control

So no she doesn't have her in her life at all.

—

Hurt no comfort mood oop