Memoirs of A Healer/Clinical Social Worker: Autobiography of Bruce Whealton

Section Three: A Love Story: A Connection: The Role of Cystic Fibrosis

This section of my book covers building a family as an adult. Beginning in April of 1992, I would move out on my own leaving the life I had living with my parents. You will notice that the "problems" that I had described when I was living with my parents and dealing with grief will almost magically disappear. The environment in which I was living with my parents had become very toxic.

In this section, I am writing stories that read like a love story when taken together. When I speak of starting a family, I mean sharing my life with another person, eventually as husband and wife. So, this is about falling in love. I had dated a little but no one other than Celta played a role in my history. There was a moment when we almost kissed – do you remember what I described?

I suppose some it can be confusing. Nothing "sexual" happened. That being said, I never held hands with my male friends, or cuddled with them, or stared into their eyes, felt the need to repeatedly tell them "I love you." You get the idea.

The book overall is about my interest in building connections – social connections. For me, this is a form of self-actualization!

It's important to note that the same efforts involved in overcoming shyness in order to be able to find someone to love were helpful in my career journey. So, this section is a very important part of my overall autobiographical story. It offers a background for the other later chapters of the book.

While these chapters within this section can stand alone in part, the best way to understand everything and appreciate the love story here is to have read every chapter that has come before these next chapters in this section of the book.

For a brief moment, before I moved out on my own, I worried about my own mental health and whether my "problems" would have an impact on my career plans. That was where things were left at the end of the last section. Never again would I wonder about this. Clearly, the environment where I was living with my parents had been extremely toxic. That narcissistic household would be left behind and replaced with brighter days.

At this same time in my history, I would embark on my career goals and dreams. I am going to describe that aspect of my life in Section Three where I will have to back up in time to cover that aspect of my life.

Regarding shyness, I would say that I was a "shy person in recovery." I made up that term and you will come upon this later in this section of the book. I use that phrase to indicate that I had accomplished so much with regard to overcoming the paralyzing effects of shyness, but it has been an enduring aspect of my life story.

Cystic Fibrosis and My Life with Lynn Denise Krupey

It's also important to note that the girl of my dreams, the love of my life, the one person I would fall madly and passionately, totally and completely, in love with, had a chronic illness called Cystic Fibrosis. I will discuss that later in this section of the book including the implications this had on our life together.

The Role of Religion As A Toxic Influence

For the longest time, I was still a believer in religious ideas – the ones I had been exposed to growing up. God, spirituality, heaven, and sin of course. We can't leave that out. I would come to feel such great shame for things I said to Lynn when we were living together. She would ask if I regretted the things, we did. I would answer "no, of course, not." I knew we had an incredible relationship, and we were committed to each other forever, we had an incredible connection.

Everything we did was so right!

Being an atheist like I am now, would have been easier. I can be philosophical without looking for supernatural answers.

Lynn was always open-minded and curious... practical but curious. I'll explain the practical part. By curious, I mean she listened to our friend Jean as he discussed and applied to the tarot. Her mother went to someplace on Sundays that didn't preach any particular faith or religious dogma.

Where the Story Begins and Where it Leads

I pick up the story when I turn twenty-six and move to Wilmington, North Carolina - my home. Things are much different than when I arrived in Atlanta Georgia for college. It's true that I didn't know anyone in Wilmington when I first move there. However, I am not paralyzed by shyness and social anxiety – I had developed social skills as well.

The experience of being in love was more amazing than I had imagined. I could not have known what it is like to be in love until it happened. I suppose no one does... but no one tried to convey the happiness and serenity that comes from being loved and being in love.

Please join me... this promises to be exciting.