Memoirs of A Healer/Clinical Social Worker: Autobiography of Bruce Whealton

Chapter 18: Reflections on The Connection We Had That First Year

I noticed that during this first year we didn't have "dates" in a traditional sense. We didn't say "let's go on a date." After I no longer had to persuade her to do something with me after my day at work or on the weekend, we just did everything together.

She was working but not full-time. I'll explain why later. I was working at least forty hours per week. So, we came to know each other's schedule and we discussed together, "what do you want to do today?"

Sundays we went to the poetry readings at the Coastline Convention Center. Sometimes we would show up there on other days to just visit Dusty. We also attended different events in downtown Wilmington by the Cape Fear River.

Our social circle was almost the same. I had gone to the poetry readings to meet people and among them was Lynn. In addition, I was making other friends and most of them were mutual friends. One of our longest and best friends was my dear friend Thomas Childs. He was a mutual friend. Like Lynn, he had a degree in English.

There were other poetry events that we attended besides the Sunday poetry readings and the big poetry reading in Carolina Beach that I mentioned earlier.

For me, I was making professional connections – technically I was still a paraprofessional. I was meeting people who work in the mental health and developmental disabilities fields. This was leading to new job opportunities.

Lynn made friends through her pottery which was a hobby of hers. She made colorful jewelry and other objects like plates, bowls, cups, and plant holders and so much else. Through that work, she got to meet people and socialize with them.

The Azalea Festival was in August. The Art Center had a booth there. It was at a park that is situated between downtown Wilmington, Wrightsville Beach, and Highway 421 that heads down to Carolina Beach.

At the Azalea Festival, Lynn was there with the Art Center's pottery exhibition and that occupied most of Lynn's time. So, I could only show up to see what she was doing and then try to occupy myself somewhat alone at the other exhibits. The first two years when I attended this, I didn't have anyone to join me at the festival and I felt a bit frustrated because it looked like fun and I wanted to see everything, but Lynn was busy. I was making friends but I still felt a bit lonely at times like this.

Around Halloween time we went on a tour of haunted Wilmington. No, I didn't believe in ghosts, but it was still fun. It was just Lynn and me, but I think we ran into some friends. It felt mysterious. Wilmington is a historic town, and they try to make the historic district entertaining during this time.

We had a few favorite restaurants depending on the occasion. For lunch or dinner, we could go to a place that had awesome fries with special seasoning and burgers. We had nicer places that we frequented for special occasions like Valentine's Day.

Each year, I started going to a Christmas party that was at one of the homes of some folks in her pottery class. I didn't know any of them, but it was nice to go with Lynn all the same. It felt really good to be seen with Lynn. I thought she was so incredibly beautiful. Plus, I was feeling comfortable with her. I don't know if I went the first year that I was with Lynn. I don't know how she would have introduced me.

By the second year, I was her boyfriend, of course. That felt good.

It gives me the same chills now that I felt at the time running up my back and neck.

I'm not even holding her hand now as I write this. I remember though. I remember her speaking to someone or a couple of people and my arms were wrapped around her. I could tell she liked it. She would take my hand or place her hand over mine as I wrapped my arm around her waist.

She was good about recognizing me and sensing that I felt out of place. So, she would try to mention something about me to whomever she is speaking to. Maybe bragging about my career plans, my current job, where I was going.

I can see a similar scene that was some event with her pottery group during our second summer together.

In the memory, we walk in together hand-in-hand. I am being only clingy enough to signal that I feel a little out of place. We had discussed this already. I said I don't know the people, nor do I know pottery.

We were outside on a porch. I said "here sit on my lap and you can talk to your friends" taking one of her hands and allowing her to face her fellow pottery classmate/friend as she sat down.

I could not help but notice how shapely her legs were. It was strange how she had not gotten a tan despite living across the street from the beach. I felt a bit excited or aroused and shifted in my seat. She hardly noticed. She was sitting with her right leg over her left and I also noticed her small sexy feet moving ever so slightly. My hand was high up on her leg because her shorts were not too long. It was nothing obvious though.

It didn't strike me that she was showing off her figure at all.

It just seemed comfortable to her... for me, it was comfortable too. The "excitement" I felt subsided, and I just felt peaceful.

She was so considerate too. She turned to me with a smile and said, "are you doing okay, sweetie?"

"I'm fine," I said with a smile that was intended to reassure her.

Yeah, it felt good to be with Lynn. I could feel chills up my back and on my neck. I caressed her leg in a more provocative way when no one was looking. She just smiled, amused and I could tell she wanted more. I had seen the look. This wasn't the time.

At moments like this, I also caught my breath. It was strange that sensation and the best description of it - "take my breath away." One might imagine that this would signal fear or a feeling of shortness of breath. No, this was different. It felt good.

It feels good. The memory.

We were doing almost everything together, at least by the time we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. It was comfortable and serene. My thoughts were wrapped up in her. The next chapter expands on this concept.