You know me inside and out.
And when I say inside and out, I mean you know every curve and mark on my body since you've touched me so many times, and you know what makes me, me.
Now I hurt you badly, and I'm very aware of that.
I cannot expect you to forgive me, but I really wish you did.
I miss when we were happy, because you cannot try and tell me we weren't happy for a bit. But how long was a bit until the fights began? I don't even know because I can only think of the pain that was constantly caused by you.
And I know I'm supposed to think you're a shitty person because you were manipulative, but when I tell my friends that, do I mention what I did to him back?
Did I mention the snarky comments and the sneaking to make him jealous so he would show care for me? But really, he didn't show care for me or else I wouldn't have done it.
But Alinna he held you when you were broken and would let you in his house when he'd say he never wanted to see me again. But Alinna he said he never wanted to see you again.
I'm just going to ask myself what the FUCK is going on? I genuinely cannot express how I feel towards you. I still fucking love you to the deep core of me but everyone tells me I'm not allowed to. But I really do.
I have a new lover now, and since I reached out to you, you don't ever leave my fucking mind and I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone in the process of figuring my brain out.
I want you in my life, I want you to be there when no one else is, when the moon stops shining completely and there is nothing but a sky full of dim lights from the starts that don't shine as bright, I want you to be the reason they all light up. But you're not right for me.
I'm supposed to hate you because you cheated on me, but how can you hate someone who you spent over a year of your life loving, and supporting? I want to say I forgive him, and it was his way of saying he wants time to himself.
Holy fuck I just want you back in my life. I want you back. I want you back. I want you back. I want you back. But not in the way you think. Now I'm going to shut up and cry all night.
