One day, I cached feelings for a boy. A nice, tall cute boy. I hoped for a long time, he would like me back. One day, I got a text from a girl saying "Hey Alinna, I just asked him if he likes you, and he does!"
When I read those words a huge smile came across my face and my thoughts were everywhere. I texted him asking him if he actually does like me. I read the words "yes I do."
I jumped for joy, I confessed my feelings, we kept talking and talking. This went on for months. I wanted you so bad, I just waited and waited. You never did ask me out. You stopped answering my texts too.
First day of school rolled around, old and new faces everywhere and in the crowd. The first eyes I met were yours. You looked away immediately. I was hurt, betrayed and heartbroken. I cared for you so much and you chose to not care.
I went along meeting new people and yet, our eyes met again. This time, I looked away.
"Go make a move!" People would tell you. You ignored and pretended I didn't exist. You were pushed into me, embarrassed to even glance at me. You don't notice how much you broke me. And you don't even care.
My thoughts worsen by the second "I've fallen in love" You were the first person to like me back. I wanted you to be mine.
I met a boy in a media classroom one day, best friend he turned out to be. He says "My best friend likes you a lot." "I doubt that" I answer "Who is he?" He said his name. I was in complete shock. "He's also gonna ask you out!" He says. "Are you sure it's him?" I asked. "Yes, he said he would do it at cadets!"
I spent months thinking he was going to do it. But he never did. Then I heard the words, "He doesn't like you anymore" I gave up on trying. I always fought, even for a glance.
But why?
Because you are a dick that doesn't care about other's feelings. But I didn't care about that. I wanted you.
A while later, you came hobbling in with a broken leg. I asked how you broke it. And honestly. That was the first time we've talked since summer. I then in that moment remembered how much I liked you.
I stopped spending lunch with my best friend and tried to sit around you with other people, I tried talking to you, making contact with other guys so maybe you would be jealous.
One day, I was sitting on a bench with my friend. A kid came over talking about how he was gonna ask me out. "Yeah right" I said since I've heard it many times before, over and over.
After school, a best friend of mine came over to me and said I needed to come with you that second. A whole bunch of people were around in a group saying "do it" I was confused indeed. I turned around and there you were. Smiling, with your perfect white teeth. You said 6 words.
"Will you go out with me?"
I was shocked, almost didn't believe it so I hesitated. I've wanted this for so long, I said yes. And left.
We never talked. I'd sit near you hoping you'd come and sit. But you never did. You wouldn't look at me in the halls, hug me at school or anything.
Nothing
I had to start every conversation. I had to ask to hangout because you wouldn't ask.
We always went to my house. I wouldn't do anything with you since I was shy. I also felt like you hated me most of the time. I stayed in this "relationship" of course because I wanted you.
After we started hanging out. You would kiss me on the cheek to say goodbye. One day I said "you missed" and our lips met. I was so happy, but you just left with no emotion
I was being fed by your poison
"you two should just fuck"
"Send him nudes"
"Are you even dating him?" People would ask
I chose to ignore it and walk away
I started to become depressed again and think of suicide. I didn't tell you, I thought you'd find me weird. You started talking about me, calling me annoying, I ruin everything etc. I was planning on breaking up with you when I saw you.
Then all the rumours at the beginning, "He's being paid to date you" "It was a dare from his cousin" I didn't believe them. So why should I believe these ones?
I lost interest in you. I texted you asking what your problem was. I asked if you wanted to be in a relationship still and these words came across the screen
"I think we should stop seeing each other"
I dropped my phone and cried. I don't know why. But I did. You still wanted to be friends so I said sure. We got in a huge fight that night
I was told to kill myself and that I'm extremely happy faking depression. 1Am rolled around and I decided to tell you I've been close to killing myself many times. You cared for once. You said you'd never leave my side and you'd always be there for me. I could talk to you when I'm hurting and you'd listen
You told me to stay positive and we can still be friends. But the same as before. We're perfect strangers
