A Silence Full of Sound [hiatus]

1.2 - Leo: The Doctor

Leo settled the phone down on the cradle and tried not to think about the daunting task ahead of them. The moment Josh told him Stanley diagnosed him with PTSD, his stomach had dropped into his shoes. He couldn't breathe, and for a brief moment, staring at his Deputy Chief of Staff, he thought that he was going to lose Josh. The thought of that made him sick. The idea that his deputy COS suffered day after day, the same debilitating horror that made his own nights sleepless and full of terror, chilled him. But he knew that Josh was resilient. He always had been, and he probably always would be. He was probably stronger than Leo could ever be.

He stopped thinking about that and flipped through a Rolodex on his desk in search of Stanley's number. When he found it, he picked up the phone again, dialing as he did so, then hung up. It was only four a.m. California time, and while he had no qualms waking the President up‒it was his job after all‒he did take issue with the idea of waking up a civilian far earlier than needed on the day after Christmas.

Instead, Leo got to work on the wording for the proposed guidelines for the upcoming leadership breakfast. He knew that both the Senate and the House majority leaders would come up with their amendments, but knowing his staff, and particularly Toby, he would need to add more to keep the breakfast as amiable as possible. Not that he envisioned that going very well, considering the Dems didn't control either the House or the Senate this year. His job for the new year was already shaping up to become one of the longest he'd have in office, already topping the disastrous six or so months when his personnel file had been leaked this year. He tried not to think about that.

At about ten, having worked in the blessed quiet for four hours, he finally dialed Stanley's number and let the tone sound in his ear. For the second time in two weeks, the fear of the situation tried to latch onto him and percolate in the depths of his stomach. The thoughts he'd managed to push away while working came back with a vengeance. What if Josh wasn't strong enough? What if he ended up like Leo did after the war? Hitting rock bottom and turning to solace at the bottom of a bottle? That thought made him sick as he listened to the ringing of the phone.

That drone, the anxiety-inducing sound that set his teeth on edge, suddenly stopped as Stanely's voice emanated from the earpiece.

"This is Stanley Keyworth. How can I help you?"

"Dr. Keyworth. Leo McGarry, here."

"Mr. McGarry," Leo could hear the surprise in Stanley's voice and the faint rustle of a newspaper being closed and set aside. "It's the day after Christmas. Do you ever take a break?"

Leo bristled a little at Stanley's tone as he took off his glasses and leaned back in his chair. "I took a break yesterday. That's all I needed."

Therapists and their damned ever-knowing smirks. He could almost hear it as Stanley spoke again. "One day is hardly a break."

Leo wondered if Stanley had an overwhelming urge to provide him therapy over the phone. He liked the man and the fact that he had managed to help Josh, but he never enjoyed therapists himself. He'd never met one he was fond of anyway. Stanley was maybe the one exception, but then again, he'd never met with him. Just a few words here and there over the phone. He hadn't even talked to him the week before, after the session with Josh. Leo supposed that was a good thing.

"But don't mind me; old habits. I apologize. To what do I owe the pleasure? Were my notes on Josh sufficient for what you needed?"

"They were. That's not why I'm calling, though. The President and I spoke earlier today, and we wanted to consult with you over a matter we've been considering. If you have a moment, I'd like to talk to you about it."

There was a pause before Stanley answered. "I have a few minutes."

"The President and I were discussing whether having a mental health consultant on staff would be beneficial. In case something like Rosslyn happened again."

"I'm sure you have your own people you can contact," Leo could hear the surprise laced in Stanley's voice once again. "Democrats or bipartisan help that you've spoken to before. Why are you coming to me?" Leo didn't answer. Stanley continued, "You're worried about Josh."

"He was apprehensive about speaking to you."

"That is an understatement."

"And we're wondering," Leo continued smoothly, despite the interruption, "If you think he would be reticent to the idea."

"Of a consultant?"

"Yes, exactly."

"Yes, I believe he will be. You should be, too."

"Don't worry about us. We've been through worse scrapes with the news and media."

"But you know that Josh will worry."

Leo knew that all too well. "He'll be worried about the perception a mental health consultant will create, yes, and I fear he'll worry about his job."

"Yes, he did mention that to me in far fewer words."

The lull in conversation allowed Leo to debate the President's statement earlier in the morning.

"Dr. Keyworth?" Leo asked, breaking the silence. "The President did express interest in offering you the job."

"You couldn't pay me enough," he said wryly. "Besides, I'm not interested in a job in government. ATVA is as close as I'll get."

Okay, maybe Stanley wasn't so bad. His words elicited a small chuckle. "It's not as bad as you think."

"Nah, Josh and I would butt heads, as I would with the rest of the team. I don't think I would be a good fit."

"Can you think of anyone who might be better?"

Leo could hear the creak of an office chair and the rustling of papers over the headset. "I do. Her name is Dr. Ria Brewer. I'm actually assigning her to Josh, starting at the beginning of the year. I was going to call her tomorrow."

Leo immediately grabbed a pen and a piece of notebook paper to write the name down. "Dr. Rhea Brewer, you said?"

"R-I-A. Ria. Yes, sir."

"Is she any good?" He put the pen down, staring at the paper and trying to figure out what this Ria Brewer might be like.

"Do you mean, will Josh like her?"

He tried not to laugh at that but barely succeeded. "I suppose that's a question to ask."

"I think she'll do just fine. As for Josh, well, I guess he'll have to decide that on his own, won't he?"

"That he will, Dr. Keyworth."

"I can fax you her information. The stuff we have on file. It should help get the vetting process rolling."

"Yes, that would be great. Thank you."

Leo relayed the fax information to Stanley, who, after a moment, said, "I'll get them to you once I'm in the office tomorrow."

"My secretary, Margaret, will be on the lookout for them. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Mr. McGarry. I hope Dr. Brewer will meet with your approval."

Leo waved off that statement, even though Stanley couldn't see. "I'm sure she'll be just fine."

"Excellent. Now, if you'll excuse me, Mr. McGarry, it's still Christmas here at my house, and my wife just woke up."

"Of course. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Thank you for your help."

"You're welcome. Now, I think you should probably go home and enjoy what little time you have left of the holiday. Have a good afternoon."

Before Leo could reply, the dial tone rang in his ear again. Smug therapists. He hung up the phone and stared at it for far longer than he should've before his gaze fell back upon Dr. Brewer's name. He wondered if personnel would be in their offices so they could start the vetting today, but he thought better of it. He didn't want any other backward retorts about his lack of personal life or family. It was bad enough he had Jed and Stanley's words ringing in his ears.

He grumbled and stood from his desk, crossing to put his jacket and scarf on. He grabbed a few files and tucked them under one arm. If he wasn't going to work in the office, the least he could do was get some work done at home. He shut and locked the door and wound his way through the White House until security checked him out with a cheery goodbye that grated on his already thin nerves.