Fame || LRH

Chapter Thirty-One

Josie’s P.O.V.

The day after my first interview, Kate called me into her office and I couldn’t help but think about what bullshit she has come up for me now.

"What did I do now?" I groaned sitting onto the couch in front of her desk as she eyed me

"Why Josie? Why?!" She questioned 

"I don’t understand what I d-"

"That interview was complete shit! You’re happy about the girl he’s with? You’re not supposed to be okay with this. You were supposed to blow up about the details over your break up so your name would be plastered everywhere! You and Luke only trended on twitter for a good half an hour because of what you did, you didn’t even pass the hour mark!" She scoffed trying to make me feel bad for what I did

"I don’t want to do this. You know I don’t want to! If I talk crap about him then his name along with his bandmates goes down the damn toilet and you know I can’t do that to them!"

"And why the hell not? He’s with someone else now, after what a month? maybe two? His rebound rate is better than most people who dated an a lister and you shouldn’t be happy about that. Did he even care about you to be able to move on that quickly? Don’t you see Josie? This was a two-way street, he signed up for this too. You’re already too far along the contract to back out now so get your shit together and stick with the plan!" She yelled as I kept a straight face

Every word she spat at me hit me with every intention that she had for it. Telling me that he didn’t even care about me. He did. He cared about me too much. He wasn’t supposed to. I wasn’t supposed to care about him. But I did. And now look where that got us. “Us”. There is no “us”, that shouldn’t even be in my vocabulary anymore after what I did. But her words made me think too. He did move on, and he moved on a lot quicker than I have, that’s for sure. 

"You want me to screw him over? Then you do it yourself because you know damn well that I can never intentionally hurt him like you made me do before. I’m done, Kate, this meeting is over." I finished with a steady voice

There was no point in wasting my energy fighting over this anymore. I wasn’t going to go along with the contract and Kate knew that, she already fucking knew that, but she was still pushing for me to do this. When I walked out, the tension was only building up more inside of me instead of releasing. I felt a growing anger in my core at the thought of her words. This was a two-sided thing after all, maybe I was nothing to him. He used me like I used him. 

Those were the words that I kept telling myself to justify my actions, but it never fully satisfied my desperate need to know. I wanted to believe that Luke and I were both just complete assholes going through this publicity stunt, that the girl he was with now was the one he was supposed to be with all along, that I meant nothing to him, just so it hurt him less on that day that I ended it all with him. I tried to make myself numb about the thoughts of him. And for a while, it worked. 

I went about the rest of my month like I usually did before this all happened. I went out with friends, I wrote music, got some studio time, avoided all questions relating to relationships and just love in general. At one point, I accidentally blurted out "love is bullshit, just fuck off," to one of the constant paps who were hounding at me. He kept yelling “How’s your love life?” “Are you in love with anyone?” but the last question I heard from the photographer was what made me crack and say the harsh words that I did say. 

He asked me "Did you love Luke?"

Julia’s P.O.V. 

I don’t know what happened with Luke. Before seeing Josie’s interview, I knew he was hurt, you could physically see how bad it was for him to deal with through the dark eye bags, the disheveled hair, the unforgiving odor that would sometimes secrete through the mask of cologne that he’d dump on himself, but the next morning after the interview, he was a whole different person. 

He cleaned up his act, he actually got enough sleep for once which almost made up for the amount of nights he spent tossing and turning at the thought of her. He did his hair in his lady killing quiff that he usually had, but even though he was back to his usual habits on the outside, it’s the inside that really cracked. The first time I went out in public with him, he snapped at the paps for saying Josie’s name and comparing me to her. I had only known him for a short time, but even I knew that this wasn’t him. 

When Ashton was away for tour, he’d send me countless amounts of links to interviews he’s been doing with the guys and, occasionally, with Josie and what I remembered the most about the videos was how much brighter Luke seemed just being around her. You could see the light in his eyes when she was there, and even when she wasn’t there his smile still shined brighter than anything you could’ve imagined because he knew that she would always be right there after the cameras went off. 

I went to a talk show that the boys had and while I was backstage with Luke, I noticed how coldly he was acting towards the staff members who wanted nothing but to please him since he was one of the guests of their show, and I could tell that they were getting fed up by the minute at Luke’s extravagant requests and cruel scoffs every so often. I was getting fed up with it too. So I confronted him and he claimed that they deserved it, they’re just treating him nicely because they want something out of him.

When we went to clubs, I never knew whether it was his ego or the alcohol talking when he spoke to others: bartenders, club-goers, and some unlucky fans who happened to be at the right place at the right time. He acted as if they were nothing. You don’t know how badly I wanted to tell him off for that, but Ashton would warn me every time not to because Luke might cause an even bigger scene because of it. 

"There’s something up with him, you know this isn’t just the fame talking Ash!" I exclaimed as I closed the door of his room

It was 4 in the morning and we just came back from another night out. Luke drank his brains out and I just had to watch Cal and Michael carry him from the car to his room because he was completely out cold by now. 

Ashton took a seat at the edge of the bed and let out a frustrated sigh

"I don’t know what to do," He groaned actually admitting that he was clueless as to what to do next

This was the Ashton I knew. When they said he was somewhat of the “father figure” of the band, they weren’t kidding. He was always there to make sure that everything was working smoothly, watching cal, Mike, and Luke to make sure that they weren’t doing anything that they’d regret in the morning. He knew how to handle almost every situation that he had thrown at him, but now it was different. His situation was Luke, his best friend.

He held his head in his hands as I sat down next to him. 

 “I don’t know if there is anything else left to do Ash,” I said rubbing his back to calm his nerves 

"I understand if you can’t do this anymore, we’ve already asked so much of you." Ashton said getting up from bed and getting his wallet 

"If you don’t want to do this anymore, I’m sure Cal and Mike will understand too Jules," he handed me the money 

"I’m sorry about him," I wrapped my arms around him as he buried his face in my neck like he always did at times like these 

What was great about our friendship before was that we were always there for each other through thick and thin, and this wasn’t any different. 

 ”It’s not your fault. You tried and that’s so much more than you had to do,” Ashton mumbled as I felt his stubble brush against my neck with every word he spoke 

 Jesus. It’s really been so long since I was face to face with him. You start to realize how much a person can change through the years. The boy I once knew was still there but he’s also grown up a lot, both physically and mentally. 

 ”I love you Julia, you’ve been such an amazing friend,” Ashton told me once I let go of him 

 He placed his hands on either side of my face as he spoke to me, letting me see the green in his eyes that bored into mine. 

 ”Love you too Ashton, always,” I said as he kissed my nose like he used to whenever we said goodbye to each other in the past 

But I don’t know what was different about this time, when his lips touched my nose, he paused for a moment like he was contemplating his next move before he went for it. His lips hesitated for a moment until he lowered it down to my lips. 

And I, being the dumbass that I am, kissed back.