Fame || LRH

Chapter Fourty-Eight

Josie's P.O.V.

"I'm listening," he let out attempting to quiet himself by taking deep breaths in and out like I instructed him. I kept my hand in his, instinctively holding onto his long fingers and rubbing circles around the back of his hand with my thumb.

"Just keep breathing like that," I said softly feeling his grip get tighter around my hand every time thunder struck in the background

He let out a slight nod as I observed him. His eyes were shut tight in his attempt to imagine something else in front of him rather than darkness. Sweat was slightly dripping on his forehead from the amount of panic that ensued just moments before, but his labored breathing slowly began to level.

"You're doing really great, just keep breathing for me," I said softly hesitating for a second before swiping the fallen strand of hair he had tugged onto his face a few minutes before. He flinched, but settled himself down once he realized it was me. I couldn't help myself noticing the facial hair he had allowed to grow out within the past few months as I placed my hand on his cheek, letting my thumb graze onto the short beard on his face. He used to shave all the time so it wouldn't prick me whenever we kissed. His jaw tensed at my touch making me pull away immediately. I was getting too lost in him like I used to.

"It's been such a long time since I've seen you, it's like I forgot that you were real," I whispered without thinking making myself cringe as he opened his eyes. He took my hand off his face and I was preparing for him to shrug me off, but he kept my hand in his, playing with my fingers as he focused his attention on my limb instead of me.

"I wanted to forget that you were real for a little while," he let out quietly trying not to use too much of his breath in case he was having trouble again. Even though he seemed to be calm, I could feel his pulse through his palm still racing as fast as ever.

"I tried that, but there's only so much a bottle of vodka can do," I confessed in an attempt to lighten the mood even though every word was true.

"That's a sick joke, Josie," he shook his head in disapproval letting my hand go once he finally looked at me

He was about to stand up, but my next words made him stay seated in front of me.

"It wasn't a joke," I let out

"Why would you be hurting? You got what you wanted didn't you?" He reasoned

"You were what I wanted, Luke," I breathed

"You have a weird way of showing it considering you ended us," he spat back getting up, but I didn't have the strength in me to follow him. I remained sitting, facing the wall now as he began stepping away from me. The rain left me soaking wet and now it was catching up to me a lot sooner than I expected, I was shivering by now, but I didn't want to let him see me look weak. With a strong voice, I finally listened to the voice in my head.

"Kate made me do it." I admitted hearing his incessant footsteps stop once I blurted those words out

"She was going to ruin your entire career if I didn't follow the damn contract and I couldn't let her do that. You and the guys worked so hard to get to where you all are today, I wasn't about to get in the way of that. I- I knew that if I told you the truth at the hospital, you wouldn't have let me go, you would've came up with some way to work around it and make me stay, but I couldn't take that chance, not with you, not with your dream." I finally finished trying to keep my voice from cracking at the end

There was a long silence after I finished. Before I said anything else, I heard his footsteps again prompting me to turn around to see what the hell he was doing now. His back was turned to me as he continued walking out onto the balcony letting the water hit him as if it wasn't even raining. He leaned his elbows over the railing and let everything soak in both physically and mentally.