Fame || LRH

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Josie’s P.O.V.

I watched my entire world walk away from me on that day. You don’t know what it was like to see that. Once he closed the door, I broke down. The nurses found me balling on the hospital floor with my knees held up to my chest and my heart rate beating so fast, they were sure they’d have to sedate me in order to calm me down and keep the pressure from swelling in my head. I just could stop crying. I never felt so weak, mentally and physically. I’ve been through trials and tribulations because of this job working from the ground up, but I’ve never been forced to do anything against my will.

I swore to myself that this business would never come to that point where my job would interfere with my life, but it turns out it would, or someone else’s job would. I couldn’t get in the way of Luke’s success. He worked so hard for this. I know what it’s like, I couldn’t bring myself to do that even if it meant having to end all things with him.

When the hospital finally released me, paps were out who’ve been waiting days for my departure. It’s crazy how regardless of my health conditions, they were all still looking for that one photo. It didn’t matter to them what happened to me as long as they got the pictures and a good story.

But I wasn’t going to give them that.

Publicity was the whole reason why I was in this mess, I’m not going to add more fuel to the fire. I don’t know how long I was without full social networking because I wasn’t ready to see how badly the damage was from the announcement of our break up but considering the fact that the paps weren’t screaming about what was going on between Luke and I, I think it was safe to assume that he hasn’t told anyone either which I guess I should be thankful for.

God only knows how many more paps would’ve been waiting outside the hospital if that news spread.

One of my closest friends, Lily, picked me up from the hospital and thankfully she was here on time so I could finally get home.

Her first words to me when I entered her car were “I know you’re not ready now, but I’m here when you are,”

She didn’t even have to ask if I was okay, or if I needed someone to talk to. That’s why she was such a great friend. She just knew without having to prod me for information. She knew me like the back of my hand and I couldn’t be more grateful to have someone like her in this moment.

Once we got to my house, she helped me inside and got me to lay down on the bed.

"You want me to pick you up some dinner when I come back?" She asked

"It’s fine Lil. Thank you for everything," I told her

That was basically the routine for the next few days. I was advised to stay in bed for the healing process and Kate was not willing to take the risk again and forced me to stay in bed for the next few weeks. Lily came by every day to take care of me until I’d feel bad for taking up so much time in her life.

I hated this feeling, I just felt like I was so useless, I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t go anywhere. So I focused on more bed ridden tasks to do. Even though the doctor said it’d be best if I wasn’t writing music right now so I wouldn’t be exercising my mind too much, I just had to do it.

Music was my release like all artists would say. But it really was for me.

It was the only creative thing I could think of doing that would ease my mind from everything. Too bad my songs were all focused on one thing.

Him.

Throughout the next few weeks, I’m pretty sure I could have recorded an album all about him. But I knew I’d never release these in real life. I wasn’t the Taylor Swift type who’d write songs about past relationships, I mean I do write songs about them, but these weren’t too specific. These songs told too much about Luke and I that I didn’t want the rest of the world to know, it was like our own little life jumbled up in lyrics and melodies that kept me latched onto him, or at least the thought of him.