𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑾𝒂𝒓 | ✓

𝑺 𝑰 𝑿

The second day of the journey came to an end as the crew returned to their human forms and lounged around beneath the leafy trees. Tobias and Esmeray stayed away from the others and themselves while Gabriel and Jasper chatted and Nadia searched the ground for any useful herbs.

Tobias kept his back to the others as his mind raged with thoughts. He hadn't been able to focus since he'd been with Esmeray in the stream and marked her. He took in a deep slow breath. He'd marked her, of all the stupid things he could do. He cursed under his breath. This is what happened when he let his wolf out, he got into things he had no way of getting out of. He was too caught up with Isobel to get involved with Esmeray. Too much of himself was consumed with wounds of the past there was no room for the healing of the future. He blew out the breath he'd been holding and looked up, his eyes taking in Esmeray as she stood a good distance ahead with her arms wrapped around herself. He could feel her pain, a pain he'd caused. A muscle in his jaw rippled. Was his unwillingness to have another mate worth the deep emotional weight it was placing on that young wolf? Not to mention the fact she was his best friend's sister. He tore his gaze from her, feeling her presence from even this distance. He couldn't stand there any longer. Without another look at her, he strode toward the opposite side of their resting place.

Esmeray bit her lip and hugged herself tightly. She felt the emptiness inside her when he left. She knew he'd left because so did his presence. The metallic tang of blood filled her mouth but she didn't ease up on her lip. She was glad her shirt covered the mark on her neck. It had healed up overnight but the scar remained and always would. It told she was taken, that she belonged to someone. But in reality, she didn't. A few tears spilled from her eyes and she wiped them away almost angrily. Why did she love someone who didn't want her? Was finding your mate really this painful and complicated?

"Are you okay, young one?" Nadia's soft voice asked.

Esmeray's heart felt like it slipped a beat as she turned to face Nadia. She saw the concern on the older wolf's face. She wanted to say everything was fine and that she had nothing she was thinking about, but she was no liar. "Not really."

"Talk to me, Esmeray." Nadia's tone was motherly as was the look on her face. She placed both hands on Esmeray's shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. "I've noticed how he's backed away from you. What happened out in the stream?"

Esmeray couldn't fight the silent tears as they left her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. She reached up and pulled the neckline of her shirt over and glanced away.

Nadia took a breath with parted lips, her widened eyes taking in the distinct pink twin fang marks on the area where Esmeray's neck met the start of her shoulder. "He marked you."

Esmeray nodded, more hot tears making trails down her cheeks. "Then told me he couldn't and walked away. We haven't talked since."

"Oh, darling. I'm sorry," Nadia apologized, pulling Esmeray into a big hug. She rubbed Esmeray's back comfortingly and looked through the trees. As Esmeray silently cried, she thought of what to say and debated on whether to tell Esmeray Tobias's past. Maybe if Esmeray knew, his actions wouldn't cut her so deeply. "Don't lose hope with him."

Esmeray stepped out of Nadia's arms and wiped the tears from her face. "I don't know what to think about him anymore."

"Love him, and give him time," Nadia answered softly, keeping her gaze on Esmeray.

Esmeray snorted, crossing her arms and shaking her head. "How much time do I have to give? It's obvious he can't make up his mind. One day he wants me and the next he wants nothing to do to me. What's so wrong with me that I deserve this type of bullshit from him?"

Nadia sighed, her honey eyes staring straight into Esmeray's emerald ones. "It's not you."

"It's not?" Esmeray asked in exasperation. She shook her head, disbelief staining her cheeks pink and her eyes had the telltale glint. "Excuse my language, but what the fuck is it then?"

"The killing of his former mate. It's holding him back," Nadia explained with an expression of complete seriousness.

Esmeray's lips parted and she sucked in a hitched breath. "Wait. Former. . .mate?"

"Yes, former mate." Nadia nodded and placed a hand on Esmeray's shoulder. "Ten years ago, Tobias and a few of our young warriors were kidnapped by the Bloodborne and held hostage for information concerning the Clach-fala along with your brother."

Esmeray tilted her head back in understanding. "I remember that. A few of the warriors we once had were taken too. I had been hidden so I wasn't captured, but I've never heard the full story of what happened."

"It was a scary time. According to the retelling, the Bloodborne chained Tobias and Connor in the center of their village in the sun. They had no water or food and were weak from the wounds they had aquired from struggling against their captors," Nadia revealed, her eyes bright as she recalled the story. "Isobel, Killian's daughter, took pity of Tobias and Connor. So that night, she snuck out food and water to them. There was an instant connection between her and Tobias and they knew they were mates. However, before Isobel could figure out how to free them, her father caught her and killed her right there in front of Tobias while she cried out for him to help her. He couldn't do anything to prevent her death, but to this day he blames himself for it. He hasn't gotten over her and he swears he never will."

"I. . .I don't know what to say," Esmeray admitted, her heart going out to Tobias for the loss he suffered and the emotional scars she knew he must have. "I wonder why Connor never told me."

"Maybe he didn't find it relevant to tell you. Besides, you were very young at that time," Nadia suggested with a soft voice. She knew the information was a lot to take in. She gave Esmeray's shoulder a squeeze. "I'll go now. Just know I'm here for you."

Esmeray bit her lip again before wincing and letting up. She licked it and tasted dried blood, the taste of it in her mouth just as acid as the feeling in her stomach. She closed her eyes and drew in a slow breath. How could she replace Tobias's former mate? Her eyes opened and she sighed. Sad fact was she couldn't, but maybe, just maybe she could convince him she was his and she didn't plan on getting killed anytime soon. Especially not in front of him.