Under The Influence {Editing}

Lucky Me

Shawnie's POV

It's been a little over a week since I went to Chris' session. I'm not going to lie, I've been thinking about that day like crazy. Seeing him for the first time in a month and a half, his therapist telling me to leave him, and all the emotions that went alone with it, and let's not forget about the comment that he made which made Chris almost rip his heart out of his body. I was still a little stressed out about it that altercation.

So let's be honest here, Aubrey is still in the back of my head but I know where I'm supposed to be, and that's with Chris. We have a child on the way, and when he gets out of rehab, we're going to take some time for us. Dr. Jordan really had me thinking, he said he was displaying some characteristics of being insane. There's nothing wrong with Chris....Of course sometimes he acts irrational, never really listens to anyone, does seem a little detached from reality...but he's completely fine. Plus, he's getting help. Whatever. We're good. 

There was something up with Dr. Jordan. I don't know exactly what it was but things were just a little off. I could be wrong, but I've been feeling like I should call him to get a little more information, get his opinion on what steps to take next, and just see if I can get some kind of upset on Chris. I've talked to him but he hasn't really said much. I think what happened in that session really upset him, and I don't think he's even working with Dr. Jordan anymore. But that's just what I think, Chris won't tell me anything.

I think Dr. Jordan is a little bit crazy for saying that he thinks I'm in love with two people. I don't love Aubrey..... I take that back I do love Aubrey, I'm just not in love with him. Aubrey hasn't bothered me since he left Chicago that day and honestly it feels like things are going to start to pick up.

On a positive note, I announced my pregnancy and that Chris is in rehab. There's a lot of people saying that they already knew I was pregnant. A lot of his fans are happy, and then there's also a small percentage of people who hate my guts, and hate that I am the one carrying his baby. They're very happy that he's in rehab though. His fans support him in his decision to better himself.

Chris' mom had went back to LA. It was so nice having her here with me, and having someone to talk to. I'm lonely being here in the hotel by myself. We got closer while she was here, we had a few talks and I feel comfortable talking to her, but I didn't get to talk to her how I really wanted to. I was planning to have a pretty serious conversation with her when we got back from visiting Chris, but Dr. Jordan asked me to stay so I never got to have that conversation.

Today, I've made the commitment to set aside some time to talk to Ms. Joyce. Our relationship has gone up, then down, now we're back up again and I want to keep it that way. I think opening up to her about my inner thoughts, and feelings about this pregnancy would definitely be a good start.

I pick up my cell and call her.

"Hi Shawnie!" She answers

"Hey, Ms. Joyce. How's everything going?" I ask

"I'm great, how are you?"

"I'm good, and you?"

"Everything is going well. How's my grand baby?"

"Good."

"I saw that you announced her pregnancy to the public, did Chris have anything to do with that?" She asks

"You know he did. He didn't like that everybody was calling me fat, so he said just announce it. He's the one that took the picture."

"I figured as much. I think everybody knows he doesn't play around when it comes to you."

"Yeah, that's true."

"Are you sure everything's okay? You don't sound good."

"I'm okay. I was just calling because I didn't get to really talk to you before you left since I stayed back at the center. There's a few things has been bothering me and I wanted to talk to you about it since you've been through this."