Under The Influence {Editing}

Lost In Ya Love

Chris' POV

The four of us were eating the dinner my mom whipped up for us. She had Shawnie invite her dad over as well. This was the first family dinner ever. I loved every second of it. My mom, her dad, and us, just being a happy family. We were enjoying me being home, catching me up on everything that's happened since I've been gone.

"Well Chris I'm happy you're home. Now she has all the support she needs. I was worried about her. We both were." He says referring to him and my mom. "That girl can't breathe without you."  Everyone laughs

"Same. I can't do anything without her....I was  worried too.  I hated being away from her. I know she needs me." I say squeezing her hand. We've been holding hands ever since we sat down.

"Yeah, but you being healthy is important too. That's more important to me. I'm going to be alright." Shawnie says

"Always putting him first...." He says, "You shouldn't be worried about that during a time like this."

"I agree but that's what we agreed on. He would put everything off, go to rehab and get better before the baby is born. We had a plan and we're sticking to it. Somewhat...."

"Yeah, I know I only had less than a couple of weeks left but I just couldn't do it anymore. I've benefited from the time I was there. I feel like I'm a different person. I feel like my brain is clear and I can think more rational thoughts. Shawnie can tell you, that's really all I wanted. I felt bad when she would say I said or did things and I don't remember any of it. I would just completely black out and I would get so upset because I felt like she was lying but deep down I knew she wasn't. I stayed there as long as I could even though I felt like I was being used in a way. I didn't want to be there and it wasn't because I'm an addict and I wanted to do drugs. I didn't want to be there because I felt the doctors were against me. Let me clarify, I felt that Dr. Jordan was against me." I explain

"Well you don't have to worry about that. You did what you felt you needed to do and although I want you to officially finish the program, I don't blame you." My mom says

"And honestly I'm happy with whatever decision Chris felt he needed to make." I say defending Chris. "I want him to finish as well, but he has to feel comfortable where he is and if he doesn't feel comfortable, how can he be open to the program? So I get it. He promised me after the baby is born he would go back. He doesn't want to miss any more of this pregnancy. So that's the revised plan." I say in a matter of fact tone. I'm a little triggered by my dads comments.

Chris let's go of my hand and sits up. "I'm promising all three of you, I will return to rehab and finish. I don't want to let any of you down." I say. I want to talk to her dad about proposing to her. I really don't think he'll give me his blessing but I'm gonna ask him anyway and if he says no I'm just gonna have to go against him and propose to her anyway. I think he understands that I love his daughter and I don't want anything but the best for her. I wanna make her my wife and I want us to be together forever. "Pops, can I talk to you in private?"

"Yeah." We get up and go into the living room.

"What's up?" He asks

I take a seat on the sofa and he sits next to me. "I've been in rehab thinking about nothing but her and our unborn child. I went into rehab to be a better person for her..."

"And yourself." He corrects me.

"Yes, and myself. She's really been my rock even if it didn't seem that way. I've been thinking about this the whole time I've been in there..."

He cuts me off, "You want to propose?"

"Yes." I answer

"Chris...you two have been through a lot and you've come back from it. I can admit that, but I still feel things aren't at their best. I like you, and you know that. You tried your hardest to keep your promise to me while she was out there. Even when you guys weren't together, you still kept that promise. I don't doubt that you love her. I know you do. Your love for her is all I've wanted for my daughter. You've taken care of her, provided her every need, and been there for her when she needed you. I love that you drop everything for her when she needs you. I couldn't ask for more in a husband for her. So.... you have my blessing, but only because I know you're trying to better yourself. I'm still going to hold you to everything ever asked of you times 10."