the sun - charlie gillespie

six

a slight breeze rustles the leaves making them fall to the solid ground one by one.the air was chilly, yet the beams of sunlight glowing on my skin. flowers are vast, and they conceal the freshly cut green grass. the pathway from the exit i walked through was nothing more than dirt littered with random rocks.

i didn't know what this place, i think it was the school's park, but it was more like a forest. i walked even. deeper and found a spot that was it's most beautiful at this time; it's so pleasurable to relax here and take in some cool fresh air. i stood  on the grass and leaned onto the the tree, the sun, it drew me to it's attention as it started to set.

autumn was amazing, it was definitely my favourite season,
only because i got dark so much slow, meaning more time with the sun. i know the sun is a star, i'd just never felt it before. i mean, there is such a difference between knowing and feeling.

it's just like what kristina said, i knew she said that, but i could feel it in my soul when she said it.

fuck.

i ran my hands through my hair, i knew exactly what my mother would said if she knew i'd gotten into a fight on my first day. the tears, never stopped when i came out here. i sniffled, hearing my mother's voice in the back of my head.

"never throw the first punch, if you have to throw the second, try to make sure they don't get up for a third."

i didn't even get got throw the first punch, physically i took the first, but mentally kristina had it first. i laughed at how pathetic i was.

the panic starts like a tightening of the chest, as if the muscles are trying not to let another breath in. then the breath comes, shallow, lungs unable to move much against the suddenly heavy ribs.

my mind becomes as static, thoughts making no sense, replays of horrors of me unleashing myself at kristina. before i know it I'm sitting on the floor, limbs unwilling to work at all.

to make it even worse, my brain started to replay memories of luca. i saw my little brother giggling and it just broke my heart, how could someone so heartless say something like that.

my eyes glimmered with watery tears and i felt as if whole world was about to crumble.  i sobbed and tears flooded like the waters rushing down from a waterfall and the only time i'd stop was to fill my lungs with fresh air.

"mia?" i heard the wet grass squeak below someone's feet, they also sniffed. i didn't bother to look up, the difficulty to speak and choke out my words was already hard enough.

the hug of gentle arms still gave me the space to breathe. he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, gently rubbing my arm. despite the heaviness in my stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of my body pressed against his.i sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture.his touch made the area feel warmer somehow, my future within in school was seeming a little less bleak.

at first there was silence. a misty haze upon the horizons of my mind. that's were i kept everything, in my mind. that was until now. i could feel the hard painful lump in the back of my throat as the tears began to form. slowly my breathing hallowed itself and a small but intense pain struck the top nerve in my head. my face was planted into his shoulder, with little mumbles come out as i cried.