the sun - charlie gillespie

eleven

there is a song in the walls of the house that raises my spirits in quiet moments, when the wind becomes still air and it sounds as if the world has paused to take a moment to breathe. in those silent words, in the purity of its expression, i find my inner peace and realise that i am home.

yeah i was at home, it's been about an hour since that little incident.

"mia." i opened my eyes and i saw hudson leaning on my door. i was facing up towards my ceiling, looking at the glow in the dark stars i stuck up a few days ago. he sighed and laid next to me on the bed.

"do you want some advice?" my brother asked. i realised that it didn't matter if i answer yes or no. i was going to get some anyway.

"when he apologises, which i know he will, watch him." he chewed his gum slowly. while playing with the string of his sweatpants. he was never wearing shirts.

i snickered out of confusion.

"what do you mean?" i asked as he grabbed my rubix cube from my bedside and started to solve it.

"an apology without change is manipulation.so please do yourself a favour and learn how to walk away." he advised me.

"hudson-"

"mia, if a connection isn't the same and it isn't making you happy anymore, please learn to let it go. it's better late than never to realise that the people you meet at the start aren't really their truest self until friendships get tested." he was focused on the cube while he was talking.

"one argument is all it takes to show how stable a relationship really is. never settle again.build relationships with the right people like owen or ella." hudson was very wise, he's already made the mistakes for me, i practically learn from him.

"i know it sucks, losing people like this, a family you chose. but you need to remember , the friends you surround yourself end up reflecting a lot about you." he passed me back the rubix cube which had been solved. all of the colours were in the places they belonged.

"i never expected his actions to hurt me so much." i admitted. it really sucks because i was actually starting to like him.

"i know what i might be saying is crazy,but when i spoke to him, when i was with him i felt safe, i felt like he was my soulmate hudson." i pointed out, i wouldn't usually poor my heart out to hudson like this, this was my mom's job.

"it feels like a thousand knives just pierced through my heart and everytime i see him, i'm gonna feel the hot tears readily welling up in my eyes." i mentioned, as i played with the rubix cube in my hand.

"when i saw him on stage, i could tell he regretted ever stepping on that stage with kristina, but we both knew that he still loved her. shit hudson, i forgot he even told me that he still loved her, that should've been my eye-opener." i blamed myself as i cried in his shoulder.i was getting my mascara all over him. i kinda felt bad, he should be getting used to it though.

"hey, none of this is your fault. he's not worth it. he's not worth your tears and you don't deserve to cry anymore." he gave me a hug and i cried even more, i hated what the boys i liked did to me. i was always used, treated badly or backstabbed.

"come on hudson, we both know crying is the only way i can cope." i laughed a bit.

"mia, you deserve the type of love that doesn't make you question your worth." he wiped my tears away and i picked up my phone from the bedside. i went onto instagram to see everyone at the after party that kristina was holding. i couldn't tell if charlie was there, i could only see the people i didn't know.