the sun - charlie gillespie

thirty six

"do you jacob gillespie promise to tell the full truth and nothing but the truth or so help you, god?" judge francis spoke to jacob as he held the bible praying for his life.  here we sat, in the courtroom of my case against jacob.

he cleared his throat as charlie's hands sat on his knees. he noticed me staring and i smiled at him lightly. he didn't have the heart to smile back.

i didn't blame him.

"i do" he agreed. charlie made the decision to call the police and that night, charlie's house was raided of all the drugs, all of the weapons and criminal evidence needed to send jacob to jail. i knew his was hard for him to watch.

i think if i've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you.under no circumstance walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. relationships are part of the glue that holds life and faith together.

however charlie was making this extremely difficult. we haven't spoken in weeks, owen had told me he'd just rather be alone. he needed time to focus on his role in the school musical and writing his statement for the case.

or atleast that's what he wanted me to think.

i think charlie was trying to stay away from me. it's like he thought it was for the best. i gave him his space, i think he deserved it after his closest family and friends had to convince him to send his older brother to the police.

"you may now be seated" he directed jacob to the sit where he would answer questions honestly, that was if he chose to answer them honestly. charlie and the rest of our friends and family watched jacob's lawyer smile to him and he didn't smile back, instead he looked away wanting the trial to be done and over with.

his lawyer stood up and walked over to him and presented himself to judge francis.

"your honor, i would like to ask mr. gillespie my first set of questions." judge francis crossed his arms.

"proceed" he responded. jacob looked up and felt all eyes on him as he anxiously sat there waiting for the questions.

"mr. gillespie, or jacob i should say" we watched his jaw clench at the thought of someone calling him by his real name. charlie constantly bounced his leg up and down. i could tell he was nervous.

" where were you the night it happened?"he asked jacob smirking knowing he had to think of how to answer the question.he looked high the night it happened. i still remembered every detail, charlie told me a few days ago that jacob was high almost every day and it stopped affecting his memory when he was sixteen.

"at home" he responded vaguely. he leaned back in his chair, not taking one look at his younger brother who had his eyes glued to him.

"at home?"the lawyer questioned me and jacob smiled, not in a way that expressed him being happy, but in a way that hid his feelings and instead showed sarcasm.

"yeah, at home." he responded licking his lips, he turned his head as his eyes focused on me and once they landed on charlie, jacob's body filled with anger. he hasn't been able to see him ever since the house got raided.

every-time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain.the greatest pain comes from leaving.when the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies, the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
the pain was tearing charlie apart.