the sun - charlie gillespie

twenty one

there are certain things in life you just never fully get over. the thoughts and memories swim in the back of your head, sleep in the pit of your heart. no matter how much time passes by, you never fully come to terms with that situation. there are situations like these in people's lives that do exist, situations that they never come to terms with or obstacles they never seem to get over even if they look like they have. one thing i know is that people master the art of pretense and because they do, no one shows or speaks of the dark home they've been living in; in their head.

i believe you don't have to get over those things- there are some things you can only get past, you simply can't bring yourself to get over them. but you know, maybe that's just me.

i hope you know what i'm talking about. i was talking about kristina. i watched them smother eachother at the lunch table across the room. all they'd do is make out and giggle. of course, deep down i knew charlie didn't like her, but it's really hard to believe now. i chewed on my pasta furiously.

if a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. charlie wasn't really making any changes as he said he would.so i'm thinking twice before reserving a space in my heart for him.

he pulled away from her and cupped her cheek. giving her small kisses around her face. i'm guessing she loved that attention. i always wondered why kristina hated me. well the only thing i know is that i catch her fathers attention more than she does, this is in terms of talent.

there's always a reason behind anything and everything. the way that people build their walls so high or the way that they can never trust someone. the way that they're always smiling or the way that they're always hiding. people who are quick to defend themselves and people who are quick to assume. people who are quick to put others down and people who are quick to judge. there is always a reason behind someone's doing. that is not to justify someone's actions but rather, to always give them a benefit of doubt.

kristina was a weird, weird girl.

"mia." owen called out, he knew i fell really deep into my thoughts.

"yeah." i asked, taking another piece of my pasta.

"did you hear anything i was saying?" he asked me and by his face i could tell what he was saying was important. i couldn't lie to owen, so i just ask him to repeat.

"i'm sorry could you repeat that please." i turned my attention to him. facing my back toward charlie who wasn't even giving me the time of day.

"my dad asked if you guys wanted come over to my house tonight to have dinner?" owen repeated and i smiled, i figured his dad was trying to thank all of us. but i'd remembered that my family was coming home today.

"i'll come. i'll also bring my special churros for desert" carolynn said. you could literally see jeremy's face light up.

"will your mom's famous lasagne be there?" jeremy asked and we all laughed. jeremy loved food, he loved carolynn a little more though.

"yes jer, there will be some lasagne." ella answers his question, she took a bite into her sandwich which i believe was filled with salad and chicken. owen and ella looked over at me, waiting for my response.

"my family is coming home today, i don't know if can make it." i played with my food. the snowstorm that trapped them in a the forests of canada was meant to melt a few days ago. they've been there for 3 days now. my dad's giving me updates on the roads and things, but i'm just missing them a little.