Saving Death

Chapter 29

Ava

My eyes ached as I blinked against the light. I felt like I hadn't opened them in days and I raised my hands to rub at them. Goosebumps prickled my arms as curtains blew around me, and when I managed to focus on them, I realised I wasn't in my room; I was in Sam's. I must have slept here again. My dad was going to be really mad.

Pulling the blanket further up my body, I breathed in the familiar scent in the room. With a crashing overload of memory, I remembered that I shouldn't be here. How was I alive? I gave away my life. Was this heaven? The last thing I could remember was the light, the weightlessness, Ben and Blake and Sam. Sam had screamed my name as I'd let them take my soul. Sam.

Something moved in the corner of the room and I turned my head towards the door. Seline was standing a distance away, but she wasn't looking at me. She was smiling at the floor – and then I saw him. Sam was climbing to his feet, moving towards her, but the muscles in his back were tense. He was angry.

"Sam?" My voice was quiet and he froze, the muscles in his back heaved a deep breath.

"Sam?" I tried again, uncertainly. I could feel the panic rising in my chest as emotion took over. He was standing facing Seline, unmoving. The lump grew in my throat as I tried to swallow back tears. I knew I'd gone too far. I'd pushed him away. He couldn't even face me.

"Seline?" I tried, fearing nobody could hear me. Her body turned to me, but her gaze remained on Sam.

"Sam..." she said, her voice raw and full of power.

"What did you do to me?" Sam growled at Seline. I couldn't understand what was wrong.

"That feeling inside your chest..." Seline said tentatively, moving towards him.

"What magic is it? You said it would stop. I returned her soul." His voice was strained and full of rage.

"It's no magic I could conjure," she replied simply, placing her hands on his shoulders. "It's what's already inside you." Her face was serious.

Sam's body trembled and he took a step back from Seline. "Seline, I'm warning you..."

"It's not magic, Sam. It's what you fear is true... what you won't believe. But it's real. Just turn around and look at her." Seline spoke softly to Sam.

What had I done to him? Nervously, I pushed hard against the bed to try hauling myself into a sitting position. My body had never felt so dull and heavy and it hurt to move, but I needed to make him see I was sorry.

"Turn around, Sam," Seline said again in a measured tone. "See for yourself. It's not magic..."

I managed to sit up and heave my legs out of bed, but my head spun furiously, making me dizzy. The sensation sent spots in front of my eyes, and I gripped the side of the bed. I felt Sam's hands on my arms, holding me steady. I looked into his eyes. Confusion and fear were all rolled into one.

"Sam..." I whispered. His eyes bored into mine but he still didn't say a word. Would he be able to forgive me for what I did? "I'm sorry. I doubted you and I thought you just wanted to take my soul, but I was stupid. I know how you feel because I feel it too. It didn't go away when I died. I just—I had to see her. I convinced myself that you—I just—I knew you'd never be able to do it..." I knew I was blathering on and he probably hated me for everything I'd done, but he needed to know.

"...and the others, well—" I stopped and swallowed hard at the lump in my throat. I could see the agony in his eyes, and I just wanted to erase what I had done to him. The tears brimmed and I sobbed. "I just made a decision and I thought I was doing the right thing." I looked at Seline, but she simply nodded and left the room.

"Please don't hate me," I whispered, searching his eyes. He still hadn't said anything, but as he continued to stare at me, I saw his expression change. His shoulders stiffened and his brow furrowed marginally. It was if he was seeing me for the first time.

"I don't hate you," he uttered. It was as if he was telling himself this fact more than me. His disquiet was unnerving me, and I wondered how I could right it—and then he spoke.

"God..." he whispered, "...the witch was right."

"What?" I searched his face, but he gave a small shake of his head. A tiny confused smile crept onto his mouth and reaching up, he ran trembling fingertips down my cheek, through my tears.

Relief spread through me as I felt the warmth of his palm against my cheek. I turned my head and breathed him in. All tension left my body. It felt so good to be back with Sam, despite everything I had found out. Sam shifted to sit next to me, but he kept his hand on my face, and I allowed myself to revel in the sensation of him touching me. I had the impression he felt just the same.

When I did finally look at him, I was met with those deep black eyes, gazing at me more intently than they ever had before. I could see the deep sea of emotion in them, making my chest constrict and expand all in one. I wanted to take away all the pain I'd caused him. I moved to touch his face, but he took my hand in his. I couldn't help but feel a small stab of disappointment.

"No..." His face was still and the blood rushed in my ears as I sensed what he was about to do. "Ava, I've never felt more alive than I have since meeting you, but I'm a reaper—"

"I don't care," I said with certainty.

"You do. If you don't now, you will someday when I have to take someone you love." His eyes burned as he looked at me. "I took your mum, Ava..." I felt his hand slide out from underneath mine. "I've hurt you enough."

"No," I whispered, leaning towards him. Was this really happening? Was he trying to leave? The cold spread through me. "No... I won't let you walk away."

"I've been selfish, Ava." His voice was strong and he stood up from the bed.

"No," I said more forcefully, making him look up. "You have not been selfish." I stood directly in front of him, suddenly finding the strength in my legs to stand. "If you have, then I've been just as selfish."

Sam gazed at me curiously.

"You've tried to protect me all along, Sam. You tried pushing me away before, but you couldn't do it. You said so yourself 'I have a better chance of leaving you alone than you do of leaving me alone.' Well, you're wrong," I said, moving closer to him. I ran my hands up his shirt sleeves and felt pride glow in my chest as he tensed under my touch.

"Ava..."

"Sam... I didn't give up my soul to a reaper for nothing," I whispered. Sam's eyes blazed with anger, recalling the moment when Blake took my soul.

"That was a stupid move," he growled.

"I'd do it all over again." My voice was strong – confident.

"I know," he said, a glint returning to his eyes. "That's what concerns me. I'm not sure I have the time to keep you out of trouble."

"Then I guess you better get to work...reaper."

A small smile crept onto his face as he looked into my eyes. "Don't tempt me..."