Saving Death

Chapter 18

Sam's lips mouthed run, over and over again in my mind, like a film clip on repeat. Had I just run away from Blake and Sam? Did Sam really kill Zac? Did he want to kill me? He'd denied it and said that I didn't understand. I was so confused and I couldn't stop my hands from their incessant trembling. When I'd got home, I'd run as quietly as I could up the stairs and thrown myself under my duvet. It was something I used to do as a child if I was afraid of something, but as an adult, I was beginning to realise it wasn't quite as effective.

As I listened to my breathing under the covers, I wondered if I should call Louisa to tell her what had just happened. I knew I couldn't though. What if they found out I'd spoken to her? I didn't want to put her in danger. How would I explain what had just happened in a message anyway? My mind was on overdrive. Whatever Sam's involvement with Blake was, it didn't seem to be a connection that he would break lightly, no matter how much he liked me. Maybe I should just walk away now before it got even more complicated. That's if Sam would let me. I knew he was as drawn to me as I was to him. I cursed under my breath. Maybe this was all part of his plan.

What would my mum say? Just make sure you don't put your heart on the line. That's what she would say, but my situation was probably a little more literal than she'd ever imagined. Mum had always been a guarded private person, but I took more after my dad. I wore my heart on the outside for all to see and it was clear that Sam knew this. He knew I was hooked on him like a drug – a highly addictive drug. What had I got myself into?

Sighing to myself, I turned to look at the clock. It was two minutes past midnight and I still hadn't done my biology essay. Well that's not happening, I thought to myself, my inner voice dripping with sarcasm. Since when did I not care about college work?

Turning onto my side, I stared out from under the covers and wondered what I'd been thinking. I'd known something wasn't right yet I went to find out anyway. Blake and Sam's connection wasn't a normal friendship, but I'd never imagined hearing what I heard tonight. Was it some kind of death cult, like Louisa and I had thought, or was there more to it? The word human echoed in my mind. Was it just some big joke, or was I really considering all of this? I must be mad.

Yawning, I pulled the covers up to my chin, even though I still had my clothes on. What was the point in changing when they could be coming for me any minute now? I closed my eyes, trying hard to breathe through the impending darkness inside me. No. Sam wouldn't do it, but then... what if he had no choice?

My phone buzzed on my bedside table, making me jump. I looked over, to find Sam's name blinking on the screen. My heart was immediately in my throat as I reached out for my phone.

Let me explain.

No, I replied, before shoving my phone away as if it were Sam's hands on me; his cold, murderous hands.

I'm not asking you, Ava. Hear me out.

God, he was so obnoxious! I wasn't entirely sure how I'd put up with him for so long. I was beginning to think I should have stayed well away from him. Maybe it would have saved Zac. I reluctantly messaged him back.

I'm not asking you either. You LIED to me.

I waited for a response and sure enough, I watched as he began to type, the ellipsis blinking on the screen. My heart was still racing in my chest.

I can't discuss this by message. I need to see you. Please.

I stared at his message. I read it through and through, but all I could see was 'please'. A small plead. A reasonable request. A sign that he really wasn't the monster that I'd started thinking he was—but no. Shaking my head, I turned my phone off.