Saving Death

Chapter 4

September. It had been exactly five months since she'd died and I still hadn't remembered anything. What was wrong with me? With the familiar twinge of guilt, I slumped down on the sofa in resignation. My studying could wait. As much as I liked to get things done, I knew there was no point in trying to do work when my mind was elsewhere. Besides, I had the whole weekend. In fact, I couldn't believe how fast my first few weeks of college had gone. I'd ended up with an almost identical timetable to Zac and I shared English with Louisa who, I had worked out, was loved by everyone. She wasn't the kind of person to try to fit in, but somehow that meant she did. She was energetic and a lot of fun. On the other end of the scale, Zac was so laid back he was practically horizontal.

As I picked up the remote, I wondered whether their presence in my life would continue to be a positive influence on my mood. For the past week, I'd felt almost like a normal teenager again, apart from the recurrent nightmares. Thankfully, I'd been saved the trouble of explaining my mute moment in English to Zac. He'd sidestepped it completely and acted as if nothing had happened. Maybe Louisa had told him about my mum. Either way I loved Zac's company. I felt so relaxed around him. This was one of the reasons I liked being friends with boys—they avoided talking about emotional issues.

Flicking absently through the TV channels, I realised I wasn't taking the slightest bit of notice of any of it so I turned it off and grabbed my phone. I started scrolling through my online profile, more out of habit than actual interest, but paused on my main picture. I was smiling and leaning against a friend with long blonde hair whom I hadn't spoken to or seen in over six months. Clicking on the image to enlarge it, I stared at my own face. There was a small flicker of someone I recognised there, but I knew I had changed since the picture had been taken. My own image was a stranger. That girl didn't exist anymore.

My stomach clenched with the ghost of sadness, and I hastily closed my phone when a familiar ping erupted from my hand. A frown creased my forehead as I stared down at my phone and opened the screen again to find a request. Opening it dubiously, I found that Louisa had tracked me down online. Smiling, I accepted her friend request and another message came through.

Ava! PLEASE be online!

I laughed. I'm online. What's up?

Blake hasn't messaged me back all evening! Smoke is beginning to blow out of my ears...

Smiling at the neurotic message, I began typing and retyping a message. I was useless at giving boy advice, especially to someone like Louisa. In fact, she was so good at flirting, she'd spent the majority of English sending messages back and forth. I'd heard her phone vibrating for practically the whole lesson as the rest of us watched the remainder of the DVD. Even Zac had turned around at one point and told her to "Get a room, loser." She'd just smirked back, making us both snigger in the dark classroom. I was sure Mr Jenson knew we weren't paying the slightest attention to the film, but for some reason, he let it go. Maybe he was afraid I might have some kind of mental breakdown in his class.

Looking back to the message, I thought hard. Ever heard of the phrase, 'treat them mean, keep them keen?'

I waited as the message blinked indicating that she was typing back.

Yes! You are TOTALLY right... I'm being such a loser. I need to get a grip! In fact... I'm putting my phone away this instant. I might even throw it in the pond to stop myself from being ploughed down by the pathetic train!

I raised my eyebrows in amusement, closed her message, and started flicking through old posts on my profile when another message pinged through.

I have a plan! We're going out... without men. Just me and you. Cinema?