Saving Death

Chapter 15

As I sat on my bed trying to concentrate on the biology essay I'd avoided all weekend, I found myself intermittently glancing at my phone. I hadn't heard from Sam since he'd dropped me home yesterday afternoon, and I'd begun to wonder if he regretted kissing me. Panic rose in me, and I started to go over every detail of what had occurred. Doubt crept into my mind as I started to convince myself that, in fact, I had kissed him, not the other way around. I knew that wasn't true, but why hadn't I heard from him?

The thought that he was with Blake and the others made me wonder if I'd been a fool. I felt out of my depth. Sam still had secrets. Maybe I was just a pawn in some game that I had no concept of and as much as I wanted to believe I was fine, I knew I was more vulnerable now than I had ever been. Then his words hung in the air—Ava doesn't suspect a thing. What was he hiding from me? What were they all hiding?

Locking my phone for the hundredth time, I turned to the blank pad of paper in front of me. Doing coursework was impossible when all I had scorched in my mind were Sam's deep agonized eyes, gazing at me, and the memory of his breath on my face as he leant in to kiss me, sending shivers through my entire body.

Throwing myself back on my bed in frustration, I looked over at my clock, but I knew there was little point attempting to do the essay. It was already nearly eleven and I hadn't even written a hundred words. My head was filled with questions that Sam wasn't ready to answer as well as doubts that he was taking advantage, so I decided it was time to take the detective work into my own hands. As much as I wanted to respect Sam's privacy, I felt like I was swimming into deeper waters with the threat of being swept away with the rip tide at any moment. I needed to look after myself. After I heard my dad stomp up the stairs to bed, I silently pushed on some trainers and stuffed my keys into my hoody pocket.

I was relieved to see that the ice hadn't yet settled on my windscreen as I climbed into the car. I was also glad that the engine wasn't more powerful. It started with a quick splutter and I reversed as slowly as I could down the gravel drive, avoiding revving too loudly. 

The roads were misty and my anticipation grew as the headlights threw pools of yellow over the undergrowth. Even if I was just overreacting, surely Sam would be happy to see me. Either that or he'd think he'd made a huge mistake and never speak to me again. I cringed at my own insanity.

The tiny farm track came into view, and I rounded the edge of the forest that obscured Sam's house, stopping just before I got to the driveway and pulling up on the side of the road instead. I turned the engine off and glanced over my shoulder. Silence and darkness surrounded me. This seemed like a good spot to park as my car would be hidden from view if either he or Seline looked out the windows. Although my car blocked half of the road, I decided there was no way another car was coming down this road at this time of night.

As I walked along the lane, my anticipation spiked when I saw Sam's car on the drive and lights on in the front room. He and Seline must be in. I considered knocking, but then I thought I'd get Sam's usual cold exterior, and for once, I just needed answers. My feet crunched on the stones as I navigated my way along the gravel driveway, and I hoped that whatever Sam was, he didn't have super hearing. I shook my head at this thought. Since when had this kind of thought process become normal?

As I crouched down next to the shrubbery in front of the window, I listened hard, but all I could hear were muffled groans. I wondered if perhaps I'd overreacted and he was just watching television, so I gazed through a tiny crack in the curtains. I couldn't see much through the tiny sliver, but I could just make out Seline's back and she was kneeling on the floor next to the sofa, her shoulders hunched and her arms taught. What I saw when she got up made my insides go cold, and I had to stifle a gasp.