As Long As I Am With You

37

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I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, "I don't usually sing, but I will. Just for you" I smiled bitterly. I started playing the guitar while biting my lower lip, I cleared my throat as I was getting ready to sing.

In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you

Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can't get out

Can I be close to you?
Can I be close to you?

Can I take it to a morning
Where the fields are painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?

When the evening pulls the sun down,
And the day is almost through,
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,
But my world is you

Can I be close to you?
Can I be close to you?

Can I be close to you?
Can I be close to you?

Can I be close to you?

I stopped singing, sighing. I stared at his face, I let out a weak chuckle, "Remember when you sang for me? In front of many people?" I talked to him. "That song was stuck inside my head, I smile every time I'd think about it" I reached for his hand.

I stood up and got out of the room, with the guitar in my hand. Everyone stared at me weirdly, probably wondering why I have it. I didn't mind them and made my way to the lounge, I saw Kevin sitting with his head hanging low, using his phone. I stood up in front of him.

"Here you go, thanks by the way" I said stretching my arm towards him. He shot his head up, he smiled. "Oh hello! You're welcome, Winter!" He said and grabbed his guitar from me. His facial expression changed when he noticed my eyes really swollen, "I don't know what you're going through but everything's going to be fine" he added, he said softly.

I was caught off guard, my lips parted. I nodded slowly, "..thanks" I said and left. I walked myself back to his room. See? Nothing is special on the first of the year, everything's the same, the people, the place. Nothing has changed, really. I got inside his room and went to the bathroom to get changed, my flight's in an hour and a half.

Today's my last day here in Toronto, and last day until we're strangers. I can't do anything about it, I know if I stay here and not listen to Carol, they will definitely do anything just to separate me from him. It's stupid but I trust fate, if we're actually meant to be, there's something in the future.

I changed and got my make up bag, I rummaged through it and covered my swollen eyes as much as possible. I finished and got out of the bathroom. I got my things ready and sat down again, I held his hand really tight.

I looked at his face, my eyes widened when I saw a tear escaped his eye. I sat up straight and wiped it with my thumb, my chin started shaking.

"Nooo.. don't cry" I whispered, I pouted and caressed my knuckle on his cheek. Another tear escaped his eye, I stood up and wiped it. I cupped his cheek, "hey, I'll be leaving soon" I said and leaned in closer. "I will miss you so much" I whispered, I kissed his forehead.

I pulled away, and took a sharp breath. The door suddenly opened making me jolt up, I looked up to see who it is. Carol. "you're still here?!" She yelled in disbelief, at this point I just want to roll my eyes. "..yes" I said quietly, not even looking at her and sat back down. I'm too tired to argue.

I held his hands, really tight. I need to say my goodbye to him, I have no idea if I'll meet him again or not. I'm going to miss him so much though. I stood up from seat and stared at him for the last time, I felt Carol's gaze to me, I didn't mind her. I kissed his forehead again, "I love you, I always will" I whispered under my breath. I heard Carol let out a sigh. I pulled away and grabbed all my things, I turned to Carol as she watched me getting ready to leave. "have a safe flight" she said, not looking at me.

I smiled bitterly and took a last glance to Apollo, I took few deep breaths and left the room. It felt like a part of my heart was missing. My head was throbbing and my heart sank. I walked myself outside the hospital, the cold wind brushed through my face. I took the cab and the whole ride to the airport was really quiet.

I paid the driver and got out of the cab, I got inside the airport and did airport shit. After for a few minutes, I stood up and joined the line, I gave my ticket to the lady, she greeted me. "Happy new year!" She happily said. I nodded without uttering a word, she looked at me, concerned. She probably must've noticed my eyes. How much make up should I wear? Fuck.

She gave my ticket back and I got on the plane, I sat down. Few minutes passed and the plane started moving, I looked out on the window, memories started playing inside my head. I bit my lower lip when I knew I was about to cry.

Don't cry, Winter. Don't cry. The only thing that's in my head, is to not cry. I failed and broke down crying, memories started to play inside my head, he's the only one I think about right now.

I came here in Toronto with my favourite person on earth, and left without him.