Are We Damned? ~ Glee

Once Upon A Time

Blaine didn't want to go back home, but that seemed to be the only choice he had. Cooper wasn't there and probably wouldn't be for a while, but he locked himself in his room anyway. He didn't want to risk dealing with Cooper when he did come home, assuming that ever happened. 

As soon as he closed the door, he broke down in tears. He had no idea what to do anymore, or who he could go to. He knew he needed to stop trusting Kurt, he couldn't keep a secret and that would never change. But he couldn't stop, Kurt was everything he needed, but at the same time, everything he couldn't have. 

Up until now, Blaine never considered the possibility that he was in any way at fault in the relationship. But now he realized that he hadn't been listening either. A simple conversation could have helped both of them, but neither were willing to talk through everything. Instead they'd just argue. 

Was it too late?

Blaine could call Kurt, he could try to talk through everything. Maybe this could be fixed. Besides, there was no reason for Kurt to pressure him anymore. The entire glee club knew, thanks to Finn. 

But if things didn't go so well, Blaine wasn't sure he'd be able to handle that.

He closed his eyes tight. He wanted to sleep, then wake up when everything was okay again, if that time ever came. Ideally, he would fall asleep in Kurt's arms, where he used to feel the safest. The thought of never doing that again only made him cry harder.

Blaine had never felt more alone than he did in that moment. He didn't know who to turn to, he felt like he was bothering everyone. And he felt like the entire glee club hated him, whether it was for skipping so many rehearsals or for being gay. Everyone claimed to be so accepting, but he knew it was all an act. It was only a matter of time before he was jumped again, and he'd probably end up back at Dalton. He loved Dalton, but he didn't want to go back. Even though he liked the school itself, he didn't want to be in the dark place that led him to transfer again.

He wasn't so sure he'd survive it this time.

He had no reason to stay anyway. First it was Cooper, then Kurt. But he lost both of them. 

Maybe Santana, she didn't seem to hate him yet. Sam was a possibility, and Puck too, but he wasn't as sure about them.

But that was it.

And once he inevitably lost them, he'd have nothing left.