Are We Damned? ~ Glee

Role of a Lifetime

Finn noticed frequent changes in Kurt's mood, but never said anything about it. He was a bit worried, but knew that if Kurt wanted him to know, he would tell him.

First, he seemed happy about something,  but that wasn't long after he transferred to Dalton. Finn assumed that must be the reason, new friends, no more bullying. But lately he seemed sad, annoyed, even angry at times. Finn had no idea what could have caused that, everything seemed to have gotten better.

Finally, Finn decided to ask what was going on. He knocked on the door of Kurt's bedroom, hoping he'd be let in. After a few minutes, Kurt opened the door. "Oh, it's just you... Hey, Finn. What's up?"

"Um... Well, you seemed kind of sad lately, I just wanted to know what happened," Finn explained.

Kurt sighed. "Okay... Well, can you keep a secret?" Finn nodded. "Good. So... I have this... friend..." He shook his head. "I'm not hiding, I'm not like him," he mumbled. "I have a boyfriend, and-"

"That's great!" Finn interrupted.

"Shush," Kurt said. "He doesn't want anyone to know, he wants to keep it a secret. He's not out to anyone at school, not including me of course. He didn't even tell some of his family. And it's hard, I know, but I can't help but wonder... Can I trust him?"

"I mean... I don't see why not. Isn't being gay, like...hard? Well, telling people, at least. You got bullied for it, I remember, because I had to help you."

Kurt couldn't help but laugh a bit. Finn's explanations and poor attempts at understanding was probably his favorite thing about him, he appreciated that he tried at all when he was clearly confused. "Well, yes. It is. And I know he's had some...not so great experiences. But what if he didn't tell anyone because he's not sure? Or maybe he's ashamed of me?"

"That's, no offense, that's ridiculous. Okay? He just needs time."

"But..." Kurt sighed. "If he's not ready to accept himself, is he ready for a relationship? Should I leave?"

Finn shrugged. "That's your choice, not mine."

"Very helpful."

"What? I don't know what you should do! It's your relationship, not mine. You know what I think? You should talk to him about this."

"Don't you think I've tried? We had to go in the janitor's closet just to talk!"

"Don't rush him, okay? I don't know about...this stuff, but I do know it's hard. He has a reason to hide, probably."

Kurt nodded. "I know. I'm being too hard on him."

"You are," Finn said. "But he's not being too great either. You know, whoever messes with my little bro is an enemy, or something."

Kurt smiled a bit. "He's not an enemy, Finn. Really, it's fine."

"Gotcha." 

"You're such a nerd."

"Am not! What did I even do?"

Kurt shrugged. "You just are. Oh, and...thanks for your help."

"Yeah, thanks for telling me. If you need anything else, just, uh... Come talk to me."

Kurt nodded. "Will do."

"Nice." Finn smiled, then went back to his room. Despite siding with Blaine, he was still angry at him for upsetting Kurt and making him doubt their relationship. He wished Kurt had used names so he could talk to Blaine as well and hear his side of things, maybe help him out and tell him that nobody will turn against him, but he understood it had to be a secret.

Kurt wanted to call Blaine, to apologize for being so hard on him, but he was scared of it turning into an argument. That always seemed to happen, whatever his intention was, Blaine found a way to twist it. He eventually gave in and called, but Blaine didn't pick up. He left a voicemail simply asking for Blaine to call back, not bothering to explain anything yet.

Blaine was sitting on his bed, a sketchbook on his lap. He had drawn himself and Kurt, how he wished they could be. Happy, not hiding anymore. He did want that, whether it seemed that way or not. Then he picked up a red pen and started writing on top of the drawing, then began to write on his skin instead.

Play the part.

Fantasy.

Battles.

Silent fear.

Lonely.

Forget.

Confused.

Bury.

Play the straight man.

Savior or a phase?

Play pretend.