Are We Damned? ~ Glee

Portrait of a Girl

Santana Lopez was the beautiful, popular cheerleader that everyone else wanted to be. She was perfect, she had everything she wanted and more. She could get with any guy in the school. Anyone would do anything for her, everyone was afraid of her and yet they held her on a pedestal, whether it was because of their admiration or their fear. That was the Santana everyone knew.

But that wasn't anything close to who Santana really was.

She was scared herself. Of what, she wasn't sure. She was lonely, despite having everyone more than happy to run to her side whenever she asked. And she didn't want all the guys. She wanted one girl, Brittany S. Pierce.

Would Santana ever come out? Probably not. She would lose everything.

She thought about what Blaine told her. If he was scared, why couldn't she be? Because she had to maintain her image as the tough girl who feared nothing? If he could tell her, why couldn't she bring herself to tell anyone?

She sighed and took out her phone, then typed out a text. "Skip glee club with me. Meet me by the bleachers." She read the text over a few times. Did she really want to do this? Yes. She took a deep breath, then pressed send.

She never got a reply to her text, but she went to the bleachers anyway. Even if nobody showed up, she could have some time to think. Then she saw him and smiled a bit in an effort to hide her fear. She almost wish he never showed up. "Hey, Blaine."

"Hey, Tana. Everything alright?" He sat beside her.

She nodded. "I'm alright, I just... I've been thinking a lot, and... Who do you think I am?"

He thought for a bit. What kind of answer was she looking for? He didn't want to say the wrong thing, but he didn't want to lie either. "You're Santana Lopez. Cheerio, badass, not one to mess with. Bitch, but that's what we love about you. You keep it real. Nobody messes with you, they know better. Everyone loves you, everyone wants to be you. You can beat anyone in a fight. You're not afraid to speak your mind. And you're beautiful."

Santana nodded. "Thank you. But... Is that all?"

"That's all."

"You don't see... Fear? Insecurity?"

"No. But if you do, that's okay. Everyone's scared of something, everyone is insecure about something. Some people are just better at hiding it. But Santana, listen to me." He took her hands. "I mean it when I say you're beautiful. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

"But I don't want any guy to have me," she said softly.

"Being alone is okay too, I guess..."

"You really are oblivious," she sighed. "No offense."

"None taken."

"I..." She looked around. "I'm a lesbian, Blaine. I'm a lesbian, I'm in love with Brittany, and I... I've never told anyone before."

He pulled her into a hug. "I know how you feel." He let go and smiled at her. "You're very brave, even if you just told one person. It was hard for me too. But remember what we said in the choir room? After auditions?"

She nodded. "We'll always have each other."

"You and me against the world."