Are We Damned? ~ Glee

Cross

Was there any way Blaine could be helped? Probably not. But he did have one other option - Emma Pillsbury. She seemed to have the answer to every problem, or could at least offer some advice. Even knowing he had someone that was willing to listen would be enough.

He went into her office and looked around at the pamphlets. There were a few that might be helpful, but he didn't want to take them. If he did, there was a chance of Cooper finding them. Then he'd have to have a conversation he wasn't ready for.

Emma came into the office after a few minutes. "Oh, hello there. Do you need something?"

Blaine looked up and quickly backed away from the pamphlets. "Maybe. If you have time."

"I always have time," she said with a smile. "Come, have a seat." She sat at her desk and he sat across from her. "So, what can I help you with?"

"I don't know," he replied. That was true, he really didn't know what he needed. "I just... I don't know who I can turn to anymore. I feel so alone. Like everyone betrayed me, or they just... Gave up, or got annoyed with me." 

"Turn to for what?"

He shrugged. "Anything. It's my own fault that they left, in a way. I wasn't being true to myself. But that's hard to do, especially after... Well, everything... But every time I try to be myself, I lose someone. Then when I don't... I lose someone. No matter what I do."

"So you feel like you have to change yourself for others?" She gathered a few pamphlets. "What exactly are you changing? Your appearance? Personality? Interests?" She laid out a few pamphlets as she spoke, one about body image, one about the need to fit in, one about conformity. 

"Sexuality," he replied. She grabbed a few pamphlets related to that - discovering yourself, acceptance, coming out. "I'm gay. I've known for a long time. Everyone found out at my old school, a bunch of jocks jumped me and my friend at a dance. My parents found out, they left. My brother found out, he ignored me. Kurt was pressuring me to come out, and obviously he had good intentions, but I wasn't ready. He didn't seem to understand that. And he told Finn, who told the rest of the glee club... I think Santana, Sam, and Puck are okay with it, I don't think I lost them yet, but... I can't be sure."

"I'm here," she said. "I'm always here. Okay? If you need anything, feel free to come in. I'll do anything I can for you. And feel free to take any pamphlets you think can help. Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"I'm just...scared that it'll happen again. What if the football guys find out? And I get jumped again? And I have to transfer again? I don't even think Cooper would let me..."

She took out a pamphlet about dealing with trauma and put that with the other ones she had gathered for him. "If they do anything to make you feel unsafe, come talk to me. But I don't think they will. They were a problem a few years ago. But as far as I know, they're not anymore." 

"So do you think Kurt is right about me worrying too much?"

"No. After everything you've been through, it's only natural to worry." 

"Is it too late to fix things?"

"With Kurt? No, it's never too late."

"I mean... In general."

"Again, it's never too late."

"I'm not so sure about that," he mumbled. "Thank you for your help."

"Do you need anything else?"

"No." 

"Take the pamphlets, okay? And remember, I'm here if you need anything."

"Okay." He picked the pamphlets up, not planning on actually reading any of them, then left.