Heart Carver

Essence

"Lisa. You're not supposed to be seeing this."

Lisa looked into his eyes. They did not seem cold or stern or scary as they had once. She was sure alcohol effects did not fade away this quick. Yet he seemed normal now.

"I'm right here Jin," she said, caressing his forehead softly in case he got scared again.

"I'm right here."

Jin took her hand in his and caressed them softly with his thumb, not breaking the eye contact. Lisa smiled softly at him.

She had been so worried she had even forgotten what state she was in. Her hair hung down her shoulders in a perfectly dishelved mess and her cheeks were burning red due to running too fast, yet her eyes were serene. Jin was ok. It was going to be alright.

"You saved me," he said quietly, still holding her hand.

Lisa smiled. "Ofcourse I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"Why would you?"

Lisa softly rolled her eyes at this. "You need rest."

She guided Jin to his bed and made him lay down gently as she played with the soft strands of his hair, hoping he would go to sleep before he came back to his senses again and that she would not get in trouble but he kept staring at her the whole time.

"Jin you need to sleep," she said.
"I need to get you to sleep before you come back."

"And why's that?"

"You'll hurt me."

Jin smiled. "Because?"

"I left my room when you told me not to. I'll get punished if you find out," she looked down sadly.

"Then why did you leave knowing the fact that I would hurt you. You had no idea I would be drunk. If I wasn't you know what I would have done."

Lisa said nothing. She knew it was stupid to sprint out like this. Not knowing whether he was in his right mind or not meant abandoning herself to an uncertain fate.

Well, she had been abandoned to an uncertain fate from the moment Jin had set eyes on her.

"What's that?" Jin asked as he pointed to her neck.

"Oh this? Its nothing," she answered sadly as she caressed her necklace looking down at it with tearful eyes.

"Lisa.. ."

First she tried to contain her cry. Next the corners of her mouth started to tremble and her eyes squeezed shut. And soon after, she started to sob hysterically but tried to stop herself too.

"Who gave you that necklace Lisa?"Jin asked quietly.

"No one Jin. I just- I dont want to talk about it so please stop! Go to sleep please."

Lisa knew it was alright to not do as he wished at the moment. He was drunk anyway so he was safe. When he did become normal again he wouldn't remember.

"Lisa. Tell me who's it from."

"No. I c-can't. I won't. I-I.. . Jin I don't want to," she said in between sobs.

Jin sat up straight, took hold of her shoulders to make her face him and shook her roughly. She tried to curl but he resisted this.

"Now tell me exactly who the hell gave you that fu**ing necklace before this gets worse than it is," he sternly said, his grip tight on her shoulders.

"Tell me," he said, his voice growing higher by the moment. Lisa gulped.

He was'nt drunk. He never was.

"S-s.. . uh- I c-can't. S-Sehun," she said, now sobbing harder than before.

Jin raised an eyebrow. His grip remained rough and his eyes, demanding. This he had learnt by now:

A weeping Lisa was a confessing Lisa.

She would start saying out her feelings on her own.

"I miss him so much. I don't even know where he is. Or.. . what  he is. Uh- god I don't even know how he is at the moment. I don't even know if he's ok. You.. . Jin you've taken everything from me. Why won't you just let me die," she sobbed.

"You've taken everything from me. Why won't you just let me die?"

All of a sudden, Jin's grip on her loosened due to the sudden flash of memory. He lost balance. All he could see infront of him was the brutal scene of a helpless victim screaming at the torturer. The memory.

Why did it keep coming back through her? Through Lisa. Why did she resemble the victim this much? Why did it have to hurt this much?

"Jin!" he heard Lisa scream and felt a sudden grip on his shoulders.

He gained his consciousness. He had almost fallen off the bed. She had prevented that from happening. Lisa.

Her face was a display of anger, shock, fear and sadness all at the same time.

He held her shoulders to straighten up. They were both breathing heavily.

"Why do you always lose a grip on your reality," she asked quietly.

"I-I don't. You. You do this. Do you.. . do this on purpose?"

Lisa searched his eyes. Whatever it was that he wanted to say, even he wasn't sure what he was saying. Or what he wanted to say.

"Are you.. .alright?"

Jin looked at her. Fate had its own little way of messing up minds.

"You. Lisa. Keep on torturing me in a way I probably have not tortured you. But why? You. You're just like.. .ah- I-. It's your essence. You have the essence of.. . of someone from so long ago," he said looking down.

"You lost someone?" she asked gently.

"We all do."