Girl in a Hoodie: Where the Future Lies

Chapter 4

James's POV:

Later that evening, Riley and I chose to go out for a walk, just to get some fresh air and to get away from everyone. Our fingers were interlocked as we walked down the street. Her hand was placed lightly under her baby bump, a habit she's grown fond of doing. I suppose she's now getting used to the fact she's going to be a mother and is growing emotionally attached to our child.

"We need to do this more, James," she says suddenly.

"Hm?"

"This. We need to get out more and spend time together. We used to do that all the time before I was pregnant, but we hardly do that anymore," she says sadly. She's right though. I think back to those dates I took her on, like the time we went to the beach, and the time we slept under the stars... They were amazing. I kind of miss that.

"Yeah, we do," I say. As we continue walking, we walk past a certain shop that sold everything to do with babies. Baby clothes, baby photo frames, baby toys, baby skin products, medicines, strollers, carriers. Name it. Riley stops as we reach it and she looks inside, sighing as she leans her head back to rest on my shoulder, letting go of my hand, so instead, I wrap my own around her waist. "We seriously need to come here soon," she says, still looking inside. I look down at her and she notices as she sees our reflection through the glass. Slowly, she raises her head back up again to look at me.

"We will, Riles. Whenever you're ready to, we can come right here and buy as many things as you want," I tell her. She nods and then I place a light kiss on her forehead.

Riley's POV:

As I lay in bed, cuddled next to James, something kept on crossing my mind. Something Deborah was asking me to do earlier. I haven't spoken to Emily in a while. And whenever I think about her or Mum, I'm bought back to the thought of Dad. I haven't seen him for ages now and I'm worried. The last time I got to see him was when he was in an awful place. They say he's getting better now, but I can never be too sure of that when I haven't had the chance to see him for myself.

I find my fingers begin to fiddle around with the chain on my neck. It's sweet of him to have bought such a precious gift for me, but it just makes me feel more conflicted. I turn myself over to lie flat on my back, still playing with the silver and thinking to myself. I keep trying to picture what life would be like if my parents had never divorced and I was never separated from them. It seems that I'm always doing that now. Thinking of the what if's instead of the future. I keep on looking back in the past and I don't know why. I guess that's what you tend to do when you didn't have the best childhood though, right?

There was always one mark left on my hip, it seems like a birthmark now though, but I know full and well what it really is. When I was thirteen, Dad hit me. He was stressed, I don't blame him. I used to be an incredibly annoying child. Freddie continued to tell me to stop siding with him and that what he was doing wasn't right, I never believed him though. Freddie. My mind wanders off to thinking over my entire high school experience with him. Looking back, I can't believe it. I can't believe how much he changed over the years and how he's managed to maintain so overly versatile. It doesn't make sense to me.

I used to believe that people only changed to impress other people. It makes me wonder why Freddie did. I changed for those one or two weeks in May, last year. I changed to impress James. Well, not to impress him but more to impress everyone else and make him jealous. I thought he stopped loving me even after telling me he did. I thought he never even loved me for that matter. I'm so glad and lucky to have got him back.

And then there's Spencer. He's still confusing me. One minute he's sweet and kind and nice and the next he's just like every other jerk in school. I heard from Ally that they're back together but he's still not quite back to his usual self just yet. I think Ally's doing okay. We still talk, obviously, but rarely ever about our pregnancies. It's a shame since I really loved having someone to relate to, but she had a miscarriage, and so after that, it was sort of a no-no topic to pick on. It kind of makes me realize that no one's ever alone though. Whatever situation you're in, there's always someone, anyone in the world, even if you don't know them yet, who is in the same boat as you. I thought I was the only one who was pregnant and still in the middle of school, but it turns out I wasn't. And I was actually luckier than her since James chose to stick by me, something Spencer decided not to do for some time.

I tilt my head to the side, watching James as he sleeps, breathing quite heavily. It wasn't breathing so much as snoring, but more as something reassuring. It's hard to explain.

So I turn my body back around, folding my legs one over the other, and then run a set of my fingers through his hair. I feel his hand brush over my thigh before relaxing it on my shin. I smile, moving closer and then resting my head in his chest, the same position I will always feel safe and protected because whenever I do that he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight and caressing my body.

Not expecting it, I feel his lips lightly press on the top of my head. "I love you, Riles," he mumbles.

"I love you too, James. I always will," I tell him back before cuddling him even more tightly.