Girl in a Hoodie: Where the Future Lies

Chapter 32

Riley's POV:

"This is amazing, you know," I say to James once we take our seats at the outdoor restaurant he had volunteered on bringing me to. He smiles, taking my hands in his from across the table as his fingers draw patterns on the back of my palm. "And I've been meaning to say this all day but I'm sorry about everything that happened yesterday..."

"What do you mean?"

"For, you know, being in a bad mood. I should be happy. I've met my mum, I'm spending more time with Em, I'm in probably the biggest city in the entire world and I'm with you, carrying our baby. I shouldn't be moping around," I elaborate.

"It's okay not to be okay, Riles. You don't need to pretend to be happy if you're not. And if you ever want to just get out and go for a walk by yourself, just tell me and I'll understand. Or if you want to talk to me about something then just say it, okay?" I nod, smiling just before a waiter walks over. He had a black moustache over his upper lip and wore a white shirt with a waist apron over his thighs, a notepad in hand.

"Good evening, what could I get you both?" he asks us both. 

I look to James, nodding for him to go first and then he recites his order of kobe beef, caviar, Barbine noodles and shrimp - which is sort of a weird mixture if you ask me and I doubt he's ever even tried any of those things before but I guess he's experimenting. Right? I just hope it doesn't take a turn and he ends up puking. 

"And you want all of that together? Just for you?" the waiter inquires. I smirk when James faces me, looking for my approval but all I treat him with is a plain shrug. He nods anyway, answering the waiter's question before I'm questioned as well.

"Uhm, I'll just have the Nippon sushi with stir-fry, please," I answer. He notes that down before asking us for anything else which is answered with the shake of my head and a thank you then he takes our menus before returning back indoors. "Seriously, babe?" I laugh. "Are you sure you'll be able to eat it all of that without throwing it up?"

"Trust me. I can eat anything at any time," he tells me, gaining another small laugh from me and making him smile. "I love it when you're happy, Ri," he comments as I look at my engagement ring and twiddle it around my finger. "And your laugh is adorable."

"I'm always happiest when I'm with you." I smile as I lean forward, moving my hands out of the way and allow our lips to touch for a short moment to the point where I'm able to smell his irresistible cologne before pulling back.

We while away the time it takes for our food to get here by talking about Ellie and the future, although we weren't really being serious and were more so making jokes about us being parents. But despite us laughing about it, in the back of my mind I can't stop all of these negative thoughts from taking over. I'm worried and almost nearly petrified about being a parent. And I'm scared that what Marcus said yesterday could end up being true. What if James does leave me? I mean, Marcus is an adult so he knows all about these things. Maybe he's right. 

As I look at James now and watch as he eats his (ludicrous combination) of food, all I can see is smiles and laughter and contentment as he looks at me but what if all of that changes over a small period of time? I'm due to give birth in approximately eight weeks. What if he'll regret everything? What if he's not ready to be a dad or a husband? What if I am just trying to hold onto him when really I should be letting him go? I just don't know anymore. But I don't bring it up. I don't want to hurt him by interrogating him even more. I want our time together, right here, right now, to be special. I can't let my thoughts intrude on what's important in this very moment.

A short while after we finish eating, we both sat back and had sort of calmed down and were now just watching everyone else and looking down at the city below us as cars drove by and lights simmered from many different angles until a slow song came on and a few couples walked over to a single space under a large canopy and started dancing. I looked to James and smiled at him sweetly, hoping he would ask me to dance which he eventually does so as he puts his hand out. 

I received some looks, a mixture of repugnant ones and soft ones as some people had obviously noticed my bump and the fact that I'm quite small for my age doesn't help either, but I ignore them as I stay close to James before we reach there and then I step in front of him and rest my head on his chest, one of my hands linked with his and my other around his neck as his spare hand was around my back, holding me close to his muscular frame.

I close my eyes lightly, stepping side to side in time with him before I realise that the words link to everything that has happened to us and I soon manage to comprehend the lyrics over the top of the noises being made by everyone else. And I fell in love with the song right away.

I first met you in
Late September
But I know, I know, I know, I know

It's a strange thing
To remember
So I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go

There's a feeling
Deep in my bones
My tongue is tied
But it always feels like I'm home

My palms are sweaty
My mouth gets dry
It only happens with you
And I don't know why

Behind those eyes there's
Something you know, you know, you know, you know

I want to see in
Inside your heart
But you go, you go, you go, you go

There's a feeling
Deep in my bones
My tongue is tied
But it always feels like I'm home

My palms are sweaty
My mouth gets dry
It only happens with you
And I don't know why

I think I'm fallin' for you
'Cause I've come so un-glued
You amaze me
And make me crazy too

There's a feeling
Deep in my bones
My tongue is tied
But it always feels like I'm home

My palms are sweaty
My mouth gets dry
It only happens with you
And now I know why

I smile as the music begins to fade out and the bright yellow whites dim out, switching to beautiful white ones as I open my eyes and look up at him.

"James?"

"Yeah, Ri?"

"I don't say this a lot, but you mean everything to me. And I'm so happy to have you in my life. I'm so glad I met you, Jay," I tell him. He smiles and brings his lips to my forehead.

"We're lucky it was raining on that day then, isn't it?" he mumbles as I feel him smirk. I raise an eyebrow when he pulls back and then he gestures for me to turn around. I do just that and then see that it was raining extremely heavily, just like that Monday in September when we first met. "And it's just so well I had my umbrella with me, or else we probably wouldn't have spoken to each other," he grins. I roll my eyes playfully before resuming my position with my head against his chest as he rubbed my back up and down in one repeated circle.