Girl in a Hoodie: Where the Future Lies

Chapter 5

Tw: Mention of behaviour troubles (mainly oppositional defiant disorder).

Riley's POV:

I sat by the desk table in the spinning chair, scrolling through my phone. James got me a new one about two months ago after it got majorly cracked because of Lauren. I haven't heard from her in months. I'm not even too sure what happened to her. I suppose it's a good thing I haven't heard from her recently though, right?

As I went onto my contacts, I find I had received a message from Michelle. I haven't spoken to her for a while so I openly click on it.

Michelle: Omg hey Riley! I haven't heard from you for quite a while! I hope you and James are doing okay, especially with Ellie :) I don't know if you remembered but it's my 18th birthday in two weeks and I'm holding a party at mine. I hope you can make it xx

I decide to talk to James about going later, so I come off of her message at the same time as there's a knock at the door. I look up as it slowly opens, and then I see Laci who smiles at me. It wasn't a sweet smile though, more of a sympathetic one. To be honest, out of all of James's sisters, I think I'm closest to her. She's been there for me through everything and treats me like her own, actual sister. I love Piper and Rose too, but Laci's really helped me through this pregnancy and it just means a lot.

She walks in fully and then closes the door behind her. "Hey, Ri... How are you doing?" she asks. I turn around on the chair as she sits down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm okay," I tell her. Lies. The truth is that I'm not okay. I'm feeling so overwhelmed by everything and I'm not sure how to phrase it so that someone will understand.

"Are you sure about that?" she asks. I bite my bottom lip, playing around with the cuffs of my sleeves. "I know my family can be quite intense sometimes, but I'm not... and if you ever feel like you can't talk to James about something, you can always speak to me, you know?"

"Is it bad that I..." I look at her as I hesitate and then shake my head. "Nevermind," I say quickly, beginning to turn back around but she gets off the bed and walks over, turning me around to face her once again.

"What is it, Riley? I can tell something's bothering you," she says. There's something about the tone of her voice that is so subtle and makes me want to tell her everything... But I just don't know if I can. "What aren't you sure about, hon?" she asks again.

I sigh but look down to my lap as I begin to tell her. "I don't know if I want to get married to James just yet..." She sighs and then kneels down on her knees, holding my hands in hers. "I mean, I love him, really, I do... I just..."

"You think it's too early, don't you?" she asks softly. I nod.

"When he proposed that night... my heart stopped. It felt like a no-brainer and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world," I sigh happily and she smiles. "But now... thinking about it all... I just don't know if this is something I really want. Maybe in the future...? But I just don't know if I'm ready right now..." She nods lightly.

"I get it. You have your whole life ahead of you. But do you know what James said to me two days before your prom?" she asks. I raise an eyebrow as my eyes draw to hers.

"What?" I mumble.

"He said, 'I've never loved anyone the way I love her before'." I smile at that. "He wouldn't stop rambling on and on about you. And I know that you feel the same way about him, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do..."

"And do you know why he thought now would be a good time to propose to you?" she questions. Still biting onto the skin of my lip, I raise an eyebrow. "It's because of her," she gestures towards my belly, "and it's because of you. I've never seen my brother so happy about life until he met you, Ri. It's like you're his sunshine or something. You probably know about his ODD, right?"