Revolution (Hamilton)

Determined

1775

I sit uncomfortably in the carriage, my corset pressing on my waist and lungs. Richard is sitting across from me as the carriage gently shakes, from moving over the dirt road. ''So how many children would you like Deborah?'' he asks moving his hands to mine. Wow okay he really just asked that question. I think about for a few seconds, I am not sure if I even want to have children. I quite enjoy the companion of children don't get me wrong, but I most certainly don't want to end up a housewife. The prospect of sitting at home, with nothing no role except take care of my children and my husband makes me shudder. If I want to have children, I definitely don't want them with this man. ''As many as possible'' I lie, giving him an insincere laugh. ''That is wonderful'' Richard begins to talk. I tune him out instead looking at the changing scenery around the car.

We pass through the forest, a mix of green trees and bushes flying by. I try to spot as many animals as I can. I spot many birds, most of them grey with brownish wings and a red breast. I also see a bunny run past and a squirrel. I see the treeline thinning as we get closer to New York, the air becomes a little more polluted and there are considerably less creatures. Yet I still like New York, it always feels like it is full of opportunities and dangers. It makes me feel like I have to take every chance to really live. If I were a man, I could surely find a job here and live my life peacefully, perhaps even get involved in politics and such. Still lost in thoughts the carriage suddenly stops, almost making me fall over. Richard steadies me, I fix my posture and sit back against the wall of the carriage. Richard gets out of the carriage, stepping down on the cobblestones. He reaches his hand out for me to take. I accept his hand stepping on to greyish stones, even though I am perfectly capable of stepping out of a carriage by myself. The black carriage pulled by auburn horses drives off, the sounds of the hooves making the loveliest noises.

''Let us walk around for a bit'' Richard says linking our elbows into each other. There are people walking around everywhere, the women all accompanied by men, some surrounded by playing children. We walk

towards some wooden stands, all kinds of products spread around on the brown surface. He stops at a stand with different baskets made of straw and starts talking to the owner of the stand. I stand patiently for two minutes, but then get bored at the two men talking to each other. I sneakily unlink our elbows and walk to the next stand. The next stand is all kinds of doughy treats, my eyes fall on a piece of loaf bread. Jimmy would love that, I hear from Ann that he has been getting less food lately. ''How much for that loaf of bread'' I stated, pointing at the yellowish bread, decorated with little leaves. The man who mans the stand, looks at me and squints his eyes. ''Where is your escort Miss.'' He replied, ignoring my questions. I scoff ''Unimportant Sir. I have the funds''. I insisted, showing him some money. ''No escort, no service'' he grumbled back.

''Deborah, you really shouldn't go off on your own'' Richard suddenly appeared by my side. ''Oh, hello Sir, would your girl still like that loaf of bread'' the man suddenly says sweetly. I hold back the urge to punch the man in the face, instead looking at Richard. ''No thanks Sir. We will go get something to eat at an inn''. Richard replies, smiling like they were best chums. He locks his elbows together once more and we walk off again, the man from the stand and Richard saying goodbye to each other. We walk over to the inn, when we see a slave boy being hit by his owner. I shudder at the sight, thinking about the countless bruises Jimmy got that way. Richard notices that I stopped walking, he looks where I am looking and snickers ''Oh Deborah, it's just a slave being hit, no need to look so horrified'' he condescendingly states, pulling me along. I desperately want to yell at the man to stop as we pass them by. The boys skin already colouring red where the mans hand touches it.

After the long day we just spent together I am glad to finally let myself breathe freely. I put on my white nightgown, which is a small stepdown from the uncomfortable yellow dress I had on during the day. I get a quill and a piece of paper. I need a way to express my frustrations. I would normally go rant with Jimmy. I decide to write him a letter instead, telling him of my horrible day. He will never receive it, even if he did, he could only read a few words. I tried to teach him to read a few years back, but we didn't get that far. We both got bored of sitting still and ran off to go play in the woods.