Revolution (Hamilton)

Aftermath

1782
"Deborah" Alexander exclaims running into the room. I freeze and exchange a sad look with Washington. I feel his arms around me, holding me tight. But I can't bring myself to hug him back, fuck I've got to tell him about John. I'm pretty sure Alexander holds John the closest to his heart, this is going to break him.. "Are you al right. Where is John" Alex asks, letting me go. I shakily inhale, trying to find the right words, looking into the violet-blue eyes that I've grown too love so dearly. I feel tears burn in the back of my eyeballs when I see Alexanders expression change. "Where is he Deborah" he asks again, his voice full of panic and caution. He grabs my shoulders and shakes me, trying to get an answer out of me. An answer that he already knows, an answer that he dreads, an answer that he needs to know. "He didn't make it" I choke out, feeling tears flow out of my eyes. I see his eyes fill with unbelieving and pain, he lets go off my shoulders and grabs the edge of Washingtons desk. Washington is watching the whole affair with quiet tears. "No" he whispers, looking like he might fall over. His breath is shaky and quick and I can see his knuckles whitening. "Are you okay Alexander" I chokily ask, putting my hand on his shoulder. He shakes it off and takes a deep breath "I've got so much work to do" he states, turning off his emotions and walking out of the room.

I stare at the closed door, thinking about Alex and John. No matter how much I doubted my love for them, or sometimes their love for me. One thing was always clear, they loved each other. My heart feels too overwhelmed with the pain and I make a decision to turn of the pain, turn of everything. "Give him some time Deborah, Are you al right" Washington asks from behind me. "Yeah, I'm going to go work" I coldly state, walking outside the room too. My office is right across Alexanders and I am pretty sure I can hear his quill swiftly moving across papers. I grab Shellton from his box and put him on my shoulder "Guess it's just you and me now buddy" I sigh, petting his shell and grabbing my documents.

The next few months I completely subdue myself in work. I spend nights in my office working, when I do try to go to my bedroom and sleep. I can't sleep or am plagued by nightmares, feeling Johns blood-soaked lips on mine every time I wake up. I'm pretty sure Washington is aggravated with me and Alexander, from what I can tell Alex has barely gone to his house. He puts food in front of our doors and knocks on our doors, always letting out a loud sigh before he walks away. Speaking of the devil, I hear a knock on the door and I hear a sigh and retreating footsteps. I put down my quill, staring shortly at the unopened letters from Lafayette and Hercules. Opening the door I stare straight into Alexanders eyes, his eyes have big bags and he looks like he hasn't shaved in months, his beard is uneven and makes his face look almost unrecognizable. His violet-blue eyes beautiful as ever, but still emotionless. We stare at each other for a few seconds, Alexander no doubt also seeing the horrible mess I am right now. I break eye contact and pick up the plate of food Washington left behind, Alexander doing the same across from me.

Turning around and walking inside our offices, I give Shellton some of my food and grab my quill again. Seeing Alexander like that made me feel feelings, I need to vent. So I pick up a paper and write a letter to Jimmy, trying not go get into my feelings, but write everything down in a matter of facts. When I am signing the letter I hear another knock on my door. I stay seated I have enough food for now, I finish my signature. Putting the letter with the rest, it's now turned into a huge stack. I hear another knock and roll my eyes. "I'm working" I state loudly. The knock continues, impatiently and loudly in a continues streak. I groan and stand up, putting Shellton down on my desk and walking towards the door. I open it and Lafayette quite literally falls inside. "Hello Lafayette" I mutter and walk back to my desk, picking Shellton up again and putting him on my shoulder. "Deborah" Lafayette groans, quickly scrambling up from the floor. "Yes Lafayette" I reply back, absentminded already writing on a new document. "Deborah put down the quill please" he asks, standing next to me. "All right. If that's what you want Lafayette" I reply, putting the quill back on my desk. Now taking Shellton in my hands, admiring the little guy. "Why aren't you answering any of my letters. What happened with John" the tall redheaded man asks, sitting down across from me. "I wrote to you months ago. John died" I reply in a cold voice.