Char's Diary [h.s.]

|Seventh Entry| Date: July 6th, 2015

Dear Harry,

It's been six months since I've wrote to you. We've been going from doctor to doctor trying to find someone to cure me.

No one can.

I tried to explain that to mom.

She doesn't listen.

She never listens.

And she never gives up. On anything. So maybe we'll find a cure.

--

I haven't seen you in a few days. You seemed stressed. I thought it was because of college, but it's probably because of me.

Having a girlfriend with brain cancer probably sucks.

I'm sorry. Mom was right. You are just going to get hurt in the end. And it will be my fault. I'm so so sorry.

--

You told me you loved me. I'm only getting worse, we both know it. Why would you love me? I'll die. I'll be gone. How could you fall in love with someone you know you're going to lose?

--

Logan came over today. We talked about you. Only good things though, I promise. Also, he talked about how he found a girl that made him happy, and I'm glad. Maybe he won't ignore her the way he did with me.

Sometimes I wish you would ignore me. So that way I could hate you. I hate knowing I'll have to leave you.

I shouldn't be this attached to you.

We shouldn't be in love.

I should be normal.

Everything is wrong.
--

Evelyn avoids me more often every day. I know I've been traveling a lot, looking for a doctor. But she won't even call me anymore. It hurts, she's my bestfriend. She's supposed to be there for me. No matter what. I've always been there for her.

I guess it's better for her though, right? So it won't hurt her as bad if I died.

Dad can't even look me in the eye.

Everyone makes me angry. Why can't we just act like nothing is wrong?
I just want to live a normal life.
I don't want people to treat me like this.

God, even people around the city have started to act like I've got a deathly disease and they'll die if they look at me.

Newsflash. You can't get cancer by looking at me.

--

We ate Chinese for dinner. We talked about colleges. The doctors think I'm too sick to go. I would at least like to graduate from high school.

You told me you didn't want to go to college.

I got so angry with you.

I mean, why wouldn't you want to go? There are so many kids that would love to go, but they can't.

You are perfectly capable of going.

You need to go to college. I want you to go.

I'm going to have to try and convince you.

--

We watched the wizard of oz. It's your favorite movie. You're like a little kid. It's cute.

I wonder what it would be like to have kids. I guess if I had some I would want them to be like you.

You're kind to everyone, you're smart, you're funny(okay sometimes). Some of your jokes are okay. I'm glad you don't want to be a comedian.

--

I have a really bad headache.

I love you, Harry.

~Char

--------------------------------

Shouts to bgtennessee because I love her book so far, you guys should go read it! 😏